easy child trouble......

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Jena, Nov 4, 2008.

  1. Jena

    Jena New Member

    good afternoon :)

    I hope everyone got out there and voted today.... difficult child is staying up tonight she is soo manic ridden today due to election. For us it's not just holidays that trigger her. She's very politically minded.

    So, easy child that means (perfect child right) that's laughable right now. Can I come up with a new abbreviation?? please..... :) lol.

    So, here it goes. My easy child has been crossing the line alot lately with me. In house suspension week and a half ago. blah, blah. So, I firm up rules again, I do not engage, etc. do all the stuff. So, over weekend she was pmsing....she curses at me in the store while I am buying her a jacket. Why? Because as she put it she was crabby and pmsing said to me i was acting like a b*tch. So, this was after I purchased the coat. So, I sat her on a bench outside of food shopping that was next stop (it's indoors) and let her sit there while I bought food and got her on way out.

    Onto next incident. Last night we finished feeding all 5 kids. Little ones left table and boyfriend and i hung out with his eldest and mine, talking, etc. easy child started kicking up a bit with her mouth in regards to lunch money and joking how she spends it on hot choc all day and doesn't eat. I ofcourse said that's ridiculous, etc. Next thing I know she's discussing her cell phone with we;ll call his daughter A. I look down her and A have same type of phone, yet easy child's is totally cracked. So I said wow let me see that. I proceed to pick up phone that was sitting on table to look at it. She suddenly jumps up and begins to yell at me give me my phone. I said wooo relax I just want to see the damage, tha'Tourette's Syndrome all i'm not reading your texts just want to look at phone. She repeats same thing again I respond with once again you need to lower your voice or you will lose the phone i just want to look at it. Before i Know it she gets up comes into my personal space and basically tries to grab phone out of my hands! Now she's same height as i and just alittle thinner just to give you an idea.

    So, it all happened so fast to tell you the truth. She wound up bending my finger back a little (i'm fine) I know that wasn't her intention yet she had no place nor right violating my space and putting her hands on my hands on any level. She has now officially crossed the line. My fault in all of this is I did not handle her the right way due to fact little ones' and his kids were home. This was wrong on my part. I have to learn to handle her regardless of who is here or not.

    So, I than went up into her room and in no uncertain terms told her that she is never to violate my space again (ok i yelled so loud my voice cracked). I was very upset and shaken by the whole thing to be very honest. She pushes it with me when his kids are here very much so i've noticed.

    So, I took her cell away i'd shut line off yet it'll cost me money to cancel contract. She's totally grounded as per usual. I was stupid and let her off for halloween that wont' be happening again. I suggested therapy again she shot me down. So, i'm going to speak to my t and see if we can fit in sessions with her. This physical thing cannot happen again. She almost tries to tweek me enough i think at times to see if i'll really hit her. I have to be honest my knee jerk reaction last night was to toss her. Yet I did not.

    So, also birth control talk we had. I'm making an appointment at planned parenthood next week to go get her an exam and the pill. I wanted to take her there because they will really sit with her and talk to her about hiv/aids etc. how pill isn't enough protection, etc. she is frightened about becoming pregnant claims she hasn't done it yet and doesn't want to do it yet but wants to be protected just incase.

    such fun. :) So, do i get to change her from easy child to something else now?? a new abbreviated word please......... :) I heard someone use PITA once. I like that. I"m being funny yet it's serious situation obviously. It's the beginning of the junk with her I can feel it. I am very odd when it comes to certain things respect being one of them. I cannot tolerate not getting it from her, at all. She is fed, and clothed, roof over her head taken care of mentally ( i'm always here for her), etc. so i am not about to have her even though I absolutely love her to pieces treat me like garbage,ever come into my space again, or treat me like a dormat. She will be relocated to my parents house before that occurs. Not to mention difficult child doesn't need to see that stuff either. It's not healthy for her at all. Yet when I was a kid I never dared speak to my mother that way i did it a few times and i got beat for it. I never did it again. Yet these days we're all (including myself) big on the don't hit our kids, their mental status, etc. in regards to teenagers I mean.

    ok thanks for letting me vent it out.
    Last edited: Nov 4, 2008
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Further thoughts..... what am i missing here? Granted I was wrong for lifting punishment on Halloween I caught that now. Yet I support her goals regardless of what they are, i listened even though I was cringing regarding birth control I'd rather she be protected and came to me and talked than handled it and gotten herself in trouble.

    I'Tourette's Syndrome just difficult when their older. I am still upset with her I do not feel warm and fuzzy towards her. I love her yet i do not want to express that to her right now. I feel I have a right to feel this way. yet day after she acts like it's all good and fine. I'm like No it certainly is not you have violated my space which is huge now. huge.

    I guess it's just pick up the pieces and move forward again, huh..? There are no drugs being used I checked already. It's not a drug thing it's a her thing.
  3. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    It's a 15 year old girl thing. My mom and I would SCREAM at each other, she'd be jabbing her finger in my chest and I'd jab right back. I was a bit of a difficult child, but it was teenage stuff. There was baggage that made the behavior and anger/resentment worse, but the response is from immaturity, lack of life experience, lack of self control and hormones.

    Reclaim your position as the authority figure. Decided before hand - not in the moment - what you will and will not tolerate and what the consequences will be. That way you're not flying off in the heat of the moment and then changing position when you're feeling guilty.

    I have trouble with consistency. Especially when I'm not feeling well, I just don't want to deal with a battle. Because of this, the kids will push and push and push. But, when I stand up and use my mom voice and my mom look and put my foot down, it's a different story.
  4. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Fifteen year olds are so difficult. I can only offer hugs because I wouldn't be good with advice in this since I struggle so much with my own 15 year old.