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easy child turning difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 318035" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>If she's seventeen, you have a bit more leverage. Does she have a driver's license? The phone wouldn't have been enough for me. I would have gone for the jugular, the driver's license. You could force her to see a therapist. I don't know any that will see a child if the child won't go willingly though. I hope you have better luck with that than I did. My daughter, who took drugs at one time, got thrown out of counseling often for refusing to talk to the therapist.</p><p></p><p>Does she work part-time or does everything come easy for her? I can't say that it totally kept my daughter out of trouble, but all of my kids worked part-time by sixteen and all of them paid their own car insurance (for us, that was about $30 a month added to our insurance) and gas and,if there had been cell phones back then, probably would have had to contribute to that too. I was newly married to a very sweet but NOT rich man and didn't have enough money to give them much beyond a roof over their heads and food. In the long run, all three of my grown kids have amazing work ethics and do not have that sense of entitlement from me that so many grown kids seem to have.</p><p></p><p>I also start teaching the kids to do their own clothes by age 13. My 13 year old daughter washes her own stuff. Then it comes out the way she wants it to. My son, who has Aspergers, is 16 and does his own clothes once a week. Neither complain about it. And they can't yell at me for doing it wrong if they do it. Ditto for food. If they don't like dinner, they cook for themselves. I don't mind if they don't eat my dinner, but I won't cook two seperate times.</p><p></p><p>Frankly, I would tell her that if she ever hits your again, you'll have to call the police. Yes, she will be shocked, pout, and talk about how she hates you, but she has no right to touch you. Are you planning on paying for college for her? Tell her your help is dependent upon her respect or else she can do what my sister did...work and pay herself.</p><p></p><p>Of course, if she mellows out, none of this has to happen, but I'm a big believer in "You get what you earn and deserve." My one daughter who went wrong with drugs came around and has been clean now for many years and we are very close. But she had to hate me a lot first!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 318035, member: 1550"] If she's seventeen, you have a bit more leverage. Does she have a driver's license? The phone wouldn't have been enough for me. I would have gone for the jugular, the driver's license. You could force her to see a therapist. I don't know any that will see a child if the child won't go willingly though. I hope you have better luck with that than I did. My daughter, who took drugs at one time, got thrown out of counseling often for refusing to talk to the therapist. Does she work part-time or does everything come easy for her? I can't say that it totally kept my daughter out of trouble, but all of my kids worked part-time by sixteen and all of them paid their own car insurance (for us, that was about $30 a month added to our insurance) and gas and,if there had been cell phones back then, probably would have had to contribute to that too. I was newly married to a very sweet but NOT rich man and didn't have enough money to give them much beyond a roof over their heads and food. In the long run, all three of my grown kids have amazing work ethics and do not have that sense of entitlement from me that so many grown kids seem to have. I also start teaching the kids to do their own clothes by age 13. My 13 year old daughter washes her own stuff. Then it comes out the way she wants it to. My son, who has Aspergers, is 16 and does his own clothes once a week. Neither complain about it. And they can't yell at me for doing it wrong if they do it. Ditto for food. If they don't like dinner, they cook for themselves. I don't mind if they don't eat my dinner, but I won't cook two seperate times. Frankly, I would tell her that if she ever hits your again, you'll have to call the police. Yes, she will be shocked, pout, and talk about how she hates you, but she has no right to touch you. Are you planning on paying for college for her? Tell her your help is dependent upon her respect or else she can do what my sister did...work and pay herself. Of course, if she mellows out, none of this has to happen, but I'm a big believer in "You get what you earn and deserve." My one daughter who went wrong with drugs came around and has been clean now for many years and we are very close. But she had to hate me a lot first! [/QUOTE]
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