easy child's Paper On Adhd

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by dirobb, Mar 26, 2008.

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  1. dirobb

    dirobb I am a CD addict

    easy child's senior/college paper is on ADHD and medicating our children. She is against it. Had her opinions very well laid out but throughly one sided. Thinks these children need more discipline and more structure rather than medication. I know she has seen first hand that that is not in itself does not work, at least in this house.
    I found it interesting that she chose this topic given our household and her thoughts on the difficult child's. I know she sees the medications have helped here.
    So this got me to thinking about those of you with older pcs and their thoughts on their siblings and their disorder and medications. Have they expressed them to you, even if they are oppositional to your views.
    As my children are getting ready to head off to college this has me thinking that maybe I shielded too much info from them. But we tried not to let them have to much a negative feeling for the difficult child's and the stuff they had going on. Tried to let them enjoy their teens and highschool. But they also had to be gatekeepers at times. Therefore, we limited/censored a lot of the history and some of the transition as they came into our household and gave them more when it applied.
    Anyhow I was just wondering. It just makes me think that she feels we are handling this in the wrong way. Wondering if any of you have dealt with that (Excluding butinsky family and well meaning friends..i think we all have those experts in our lives) with your children.
     
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Well, my oldest is the difficult child, so I am not sure our situation fits. He has not given us much grief about medications, as he doesn't like being suicidal - and he is with-o medications.

    While my daughter is younger, she does have opinions on how we should have handled things, but since things were hidden from us, and we are not omniscient, we didn't.

    I think that you are, and have been, doing the best you could with what you have. Your typical teen's opinions are probably never going to think you handled things right, until/unless THEY have difficult children.

    Personally, we have told our daughter to keep her parenting ideas in a notebook, so that she can share them with her husband when she gets married. because generally they are not helpful to us, and we are not interested in being bashed everytime she decides she is smart than us.

    But that is how it plays out here. Probably not a good idea to place a lot of weight on the advice from a teen who has no children nor much life experience, esp in the complicated arena of difficult child rearing.
    Just MHO.
     
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    My stepsons had strong opinions about Miss KT's behavior when we became a family nearly eight years ago. #1 thought she was "just psycho", which was interesting considering he exhibits some of the same behaviors. #2 observed that "she never shuts up", but he was willing to find out why she was how she was. Because #2 asked questions, he got more info. Consequently, he has a much better relationship with Miss KT than his brother does.

    I wouldn't say that shielding them was a bad thing. Too much info is as damaging as too little. It sounds like you told them what was necessary at the time it was necessary to know.
     
  4. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    My easy child is young, but does have the ever-present wish that she had been born into a family with NO brothers (the difficult children). That's about as far as her worries get. She does get frustrated with their behaviors off medications. All we can do is ask her to be patient until they get their medications, because life isn't all that bad once things are working the way they should. We also try to give her tools that she can use to protect herself and her sanity -- like a lock on her door and a TV in her room so she can escape to her own little inner sanctum :) She's fast developing her own ideas about her future adult life and how it will/should be, to which I reply that it will certainly be her choice to live the way she wants when she's older.
     
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