Eeyore and Kanga

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Jun 7, 2012.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore knows that Kanga will be turning 18 soon. It seems that he is very worried that she will check out of treatment and show up at our doorstep. Thankfully, he shares this with me while we are sitting in psychiatrist's waiting room. I ran down the hall to Kanga's case manager's office and had her come explain to Eeyore that Kanga is far away and that the plan is to establish her in an apartment in this far away town; that they are doing the best they can to help Kanga find doctors, jobs, church, friends in this far away town so that she will want to stay there. She told him that he is safe and Kanga is not coming back. That seemed to help.

    He said he pictures Kanga in a house surrounded by police and FBI keeping an eye on her and then 'poof' on her 18th birthday they all disappear and she is free to wreak havoc on the world (insert evil laugh here). He wants us to hire these 54 men to surround our house to make sure she stays away.

    So sad that he is still so frightened but he does paint a funny picture of an Residential Treatment Center (RTC).... :rofl:
  2. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    I'm really glad to hear that he was able to tell you that he was scared instead of holding it all inside of him. That's great. I hope that talking to you and the staff at the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) was able to reassure him that she will stay away once she turns 18.

    Just out of curiosity, do you really think that she will stay in the far away town, or do you think that she will try to come back home?
  3. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good question Bunny. I was wondering the same thing. Since she will be 18, is anyone going to be monitoring her every move any more? I realize that there is a plan and that she's not around but.....I can see where he would be worried. I think I would be in the back of my mind, even with the reassuring conversation with her case manager. I am sooo glad he was able to verbalize his fears. And, yes, that mental image IS rather I'm sitting here picturing it myself.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    It would be difficult (but not impossible) for her to get back here. Her processing issues would make it difficult for her to manage the multiple transfers (buses, trains) to get from where she is to where we are. It has been over 3 years since she saw the other kids and we have refused to give her pictures of them. Unless husband or I are with them, I am hoping that she wouldn't recognize them.

    I think once she is in her own apartment, she will lose interest in us completely. I think she only remains interested in us now because (1) the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) still needs my consent for some things (2) we send her birthday and Christmas gifts (3) she can play the 'poor me' card because 'my family doesn't love me'.

    We had planned on moving prior to her being "free" but our other 3 love where we live, so we haven't done it since the risk is so small. And if she did show up, she would likely try to get stuff from us, gifts, etc. So her first contact with us is not likely to be violent.

    Long term, we plan to buy a small apartment building and convert it into a 'family estate' so that the boys can have some independence but still be close enough that we can support them. We will never tell her that plan nor where we end up living.
  5. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    I hope everything works out the way you plan it to and I'm glad you're confident in what her approach would be if she were to show up at your door.
  6. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Glad he could verbalize it. So sorry he is scared of her though. Funny, difficult child 1 considers Residential Treatment Center (RTC) a place to keep him safe. He doesn't realize it also kept everyone else safe from him.
  7. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Awww....poor kid. But....glad he talked about it and got some good explanations. I too love his mental image though!
  8. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I LOVE your plan JJJ of buying a small apartment building. I hope you can make it happen when the time is right.
  9. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Our town is pretty unique. We have a huge variety of housing. About three blocks from my house, there is a $750K house next door to a $90K house. Many little apartment buildings all over town. Hoping that when the time is right I can get one that is walking distance to the main part of town since neither boy is likely to be able to drive.