ei classroom great, what about home?

[lordhelpme]

hi it has been awhile.

my difficult child is in his first yr in an ei classroom and thriving! sure there have been bumps but he is being pulled to the regular 2nd grade class for science 2/wk and now they want to have him go for 45mins every day adding social studies. we now have to redo his iep because he has met all of his goals for the school yr.

i should be rejoicing. things at home improved in the fall but have been deteriorating since thanksgiving. psychiatrist is at a loss. we don't know if the medications are having any effect. he is literally bouncing off the walls, furniture, floor, sister when he is at home.

i don't know if he 'uses up' all of his good behavior at school and just lets loose at home? the school is amazed that he is even in their program until they read his file.

oh well i guess i should just be thankful that one part of his life is going smoothly even though we as a family have the rough end of it.

see that i posted with-o logging in so just want to add info. difficult child is 7 yrs old mood disorders, speech, possible bipolar and possible autism spectrum. on 900 mg of trileptal.

 

[Wiped Out]

Hi Coleen,

Good to "see" you again. I'm glad things are going so well for your difficult child at school-that is awesome It isn't that unusual for a difficult child to work all day at school at holding things in and then come home and let loose.

When my difficult child was younger he couldn't hold it together in either place. Now he holds it together fairly well at school and not nearly as well at home.

 

[Star*]

Hi and welcome back ,

You know...my son for a long time couldn't hold it together at home or school. Both were so hard for him. Impossible really. And then we started counseling and medications - and we saw a slight ()much improvement at home, and school was still a huge source of anxiety.

I will tell you this much. My son has had an IEP every year for 11 years and NOT ONCE did he ever meet the criteria to pass to the next level. So for that I'm very proud of your son. GOOD JOB.

As my son got older he was in and out of RTCs (several) and the schools weren't as stressful because he saw that there were MORE kids like him with similar issues and problems. Once he saw that it was like someone switched his brain to allow him to get along in school, but that wasn't until 10th grade. In 10th grade he became a straight A student in (selfcontained) class. He's missed so much, he's now doing GED courses 2 days a week. It's still a good goal, and he's realized he missed out on a lot.

Most of the people you will talk to here with children in school will tell you that our kids can either hold it together at home or at school but not both. If you're lucky to get one - just be thankful yours is at school and continue to work with the therapist regarding setting limits, short term goals, and consequences at home.

Many hugs - just thought you should know your situation isn't as unique as it feels. You aren't in that boat alone.

Star

 

[daralex]

Unfortunately for us they seem to take it out on those that are closest! Glad to hear the school day is going well though - that's half the battle!
-Dara

 

[Elise]

Coleen,

I'm glad your son is doing so well in school. Great news!

My difficult child also blew up at home after school. I had the school write IEP goals that specifically address this issue. For example, one IEP goal is "difficult child will discuss things that are bothering him with staff rather than at home."

At the end of every day the teacher would take difficult child aside and ask how his day had been. The teacher could "read" difficult child and troubleshoot issues and now the situation is much improved. We had the advantage of the school sending out an in-home support person who could help with in-home behavior issues.

Also watch if more mainstream class time is increasing acting out at home. I would take it slowly. I believe my son's acting out at home after school was an indicator of how overwhelmed he felt during the day.

Elise