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Email from difficult child-- do I (how) respond?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 619029" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hmmmmmm. He is gently threatening you. "Either apologize for throwing me out, although I assaulted you, or we have no chance for a relationship." I just don't see him as trying to reach out to you. I see him more as trying to manipulate you and make you feel very guilty. Of course, you can always tell him you will meet him for breakfast once a week again, but NO MONEY exchanged. That will let you know if he is sincere about your relationship or if he just wants the perks of the money back. It's not a hard test!</p><p></p><p>I am not a big fan of writing back and forth. I like talking better. I think you get more to the truth. My answer would be, "Thank you for your thoughts. I am not sorry I made you leave after you got violent, but I appreciate your apology. If you want help, I will help you find it and then you can go yourself, since you are now an adult." Short, short, short. The less put in writing, the better. </p><p></p><p>I would close the loophole right then and there. He isn't coming home and you aren't sorry for protecting yourself from him. One of the posters said "The gall!" I forgot who. Whoever said it, I agree.</p><p></p><p>He is manipulating you into feeling guilty and giving him back his money, but, if you do, nothing will change.</p><p></p><p>Your parents are irrelevant. They seem very dysfunctional. I would put them on "ignore."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 619029, member: 1550"] Hmmmmmm. He is gently threatening you. "Either apologize for throwing me out, although I assaulted you, or we have no chance for a relationship." I just don't see him as trying to reach out to you. I see him more as trying to manipulate you and make you feel very guilty. Of course, you can always tell him you will meet him for breakfast once a week again, but NO MONEY exchanged. That will let you know if he is sincere about your relationship or if he just wants the perks of the money back. It's not a hard test! I am not a big fan of writing back and forth. I like talking better. I think you get more to the truth. My answer would be, "Thank you for your thoughts. I am not sorry I made you leave after you got violent, but I appreciate your apology. If you want help, I will help you find it and then you can go yourself, since you are now an adult." Short, short, short. The less put in writing, the better. I would close the loophole right then and there. He isn't coming home and you aren't sorry for protecting yourself from him. One of the posters said "The gall!" I forgot who. Whoever said it, I agree. He is manipulating you into feeling guilty and giving him back his money, but, if you do, nothing will change. Your parents are irrelevant. They seem very dysfunctional. I would put them on "ignore." [/QUOTE]
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Email from difficult child-- do I (how) respond?
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