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Email from difficult child-- do I (how) respond?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 619241" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Our difficult children do make us feel insignificant to them. You know what? WE ARE. It's not personal. They are usually me-centric and NOBODY is important to them unless they are getting money from the person. And if the money is ever cut off between your son and his grandparents, they will be NOTHING to him too. He will pout and disappear on them as easily as you. Right now, they are the ones giving him money, so they matter. You don't.</p><p></p><p>I'm a little "iffy" on the mediator as I have found psychologists to be ridiculously and almost laughably liberal, even when it comes to our totally grown kids. Some truly think we owe them our lives for giving birth to them. So be careful who you choose to do this. Your son needs to hear, from a professional, non-emotionally-involved person, that he is too old to be expecting Mom and Dad to fund him and that attacking you was a plan old one-way wrong. There is no "they provoked me." Does that mean your son can rape a young woman who is dressed provocatively because "she provoked me?" He really has to learn that he has the option of walking away and that if he does not the responsibility is his and his alone. </p><p></p><p>If the grands are rich and willing to pay for his stuff, which he will probably not use the way they want him to, you have no control over that and it has nothing to do with you.</p><p></p><p>You parents sound like two pieces of work. Good for you for blocking their e-mails. Our DNA members in my opinion need to respect us to be in our lives otherwise they become toxic and are no more a part of our loving support system than a stranger. My family to me are those who care about me and respect me, not who I am linked to genetically. In fact, my three most precious, loving children are all adopted and I'd easily walk through fire for every single one. DNA doesn't mean squat if your DNAers treat you like garbage.</p><p></p><p>We are here for you. You've come so far already.</p><p></p><p>Big huggles <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 619241, member: 1550"] Our difficult children do make us feel insignificant to them. You know what? WE ARE. It's not personal. They are usually me-centric and NOBODY is important to them unless they are getting money from the person. And if the money is ever cut off between your son and his grandparents, they will be NOTHING to him too. He will pout and disappear on them as easily as you. Right now, they are the ones giving him money, so they matter. You don't. I'm a little "iffy" on the mediator as I have found psychologists to be ridiculously and almost laughably liberal, even when it comes to our totally grown kids. Some truly think we owe them our lives for giving birth to them. So be careful who you choose to do this. Your son needs to hear, from a professional, non-emotionally-involved person, that he is too old to be expecting Mom and Dad to fund him and that attacking you was a plan old one-way wrong. There is no "they provoked me." Does that mean your son can rape a young woman who is dressed provocatively because "she provoked me?" He really has to learn that he has the option of walking away and that if he does not the responsibility is his and his alone. If the grands are rich and willing to pay for his stuff, which he will probably not use the way they want him to, you have no control over that and it has nothing to do with you. You parents sound like two pieces of work. Good for you for blocking their e-mails. Our DNA members in my opinion need to respect us to be in our lives otherwise they become toxic and are no more a part of our loving support system than a stranger. My family to me are those who care about me and respect me, not who I am linked to genetically. In fact, my three most precious, loving children are all adopted and I'd easily walk through fire for every single one. DNA doesn't mean squat if your DNAers treat you like garbage. We are here for you. You've come so far already. Big huggles :) [/QUOTE]
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