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Email from difficult child-- do I (how) respond?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 619242" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Oh, yes, the prosecuting attorney-without-a-law-degree talk. Oh, yes. </p><p></p><p>It is exhausting and one of the key attributes of a difficult child. My son is an expert at it. He just talks me to tired, and then I am speechless and he wins. My ex-husband (now a recovering alcoholic) used to do the same thing.</p><p></p><p>There is an Al-Anon brochure called "The Merry Go Round of Denial." When I first saw that piece of literature I knew I was at the right place. I used to be completely bewildered and broken by our roundabout conversations. They were totally insane. I could never talk about any kind of problem, be it the car is making a funny noise, the dryer won't work, can we paint the bathroom. Toward the last few years of our marriage, I simply paid to have work done around the house and didn't even mention anything to my husband. I kept any conversations to the most superficial levels---we were virtual polite strangers. </p><p></p><p>He could handle NO stress at all as his disease progressed and anything outside of going to work and putting on a mask outside our home to the rest of the world was stressful to him. I got to the point I would completely physically tense up when he walked in the door. My stomach would roll. I could barely stand to be in the same room with him. My body could not do, any more, what my mind had told my entire self I had to do for the sake of the family: Stay. </p><p></p><p>My son does the same thing if you cross him, or engage in any type of real discussion with him about anything significant. </p><p></p><p>It is a dance that just goes in circles and goes nowhere. Pretty soon, you are dizzy from the twirling around and you can't even remember how the conversation started. </p><p></p><p>This characteristic is one of the ones I most detest. There is no relationship with this kind of battering, insulting, circular conversation. At some point you just have to stop. There is no reason, no logic, no way to keep to the topic and get anywhere. </p><p></p><p>It is so comforting to realize this is part of the disease.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 619242, member: 17542"] Oh, yes, the prosecuting attorney-without-a-law-degree talk. Oh, yes. It is exhausting and one of the key attributes of a difficult child. My son is an expert at it. He just talks me to tired, and then I am speechless and he wins. My ex-husband (now a recovering alcoholic) used to do the same thing. There is an Al-Anon brochure called "The Merry Go Round of Denial." When I first saw that piece of literature I knew I was at the right place. I used to be completely bewildered and broken by our roundabout conversations. They were totally insane. I could never talk about any kind of problem, be it the car is making a funny noise, the dryer won't work, can we paint the bathroom. Toward the last few years of our marriage, I simply paid to have work done around the house and didn't even mention anything to my husband. I kept any conversations to the most superficial levels---we were virtual polite strangers. He could handle NO stress at all as his disease progressed and anything outside of going to work and putting on a mask outside our home to the rest of the world was stressful to him. I got to the point I would completely physically tense up when he walked in the door. My stomach would roll. I could barely stand to be in the same room with him. My body could not do, any more, what my mind had told my entire self I had to do for the sake of the family: Stay. My son does the same thing if you cross him, or engage in any type of real discussion with him about anything significant. It is a dance that just goes in circles and goes nowhere. Pretty soon, you are dizzy from the twirling around and you can't even remember how the conversation started. This characteristic is one of the ones I most detest. There is no relationship with this kind of battering, insulting, circular conversation. At some point you just have to stop. There is no reason, no logic, no way to keep to the topic and get anywhere. It is so comforting to realize this is part of the disease. [/QUOTE]
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