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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 22161" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>For what it is worth....</p><p></p><p>My perspective. </p><p></p><p>If there is truly not a threat that he is going to become involved romantically with this woman then, for me, them having contact is a non-issue. Frankly, it muddys up what is the bottom line from where I sit<em> boyfriend lied about staying in contact with her even after promising you to cut all ties.</em> You have made it clear that you are not okay with this relationship, HOWEVER, he has continued inspite of that. To me, his having contact with her is/was more important than you and your feelings. He may say it isn't, but his actions speak otherwise. Actions is what I care about. Talk is cheap.</p><p></p><p>I tend to take a no nonsense stance when it comes to a betrayal.</p><p></p><p>To me this not about unrealistic expectations. Personally,I find your expectations reasonable. Either he can meet them, or he can't. Can you live with the "can't" as far as this woman is concerned? Can you live with the possibility that regardless of how you feel,he will continue this relationship? If it comes to light that he still communicates with this woman, are you going to end your relationship with him? Is he clear with that? Are you clear about what you want from boyfriend? I would spell it out for him and make abundantly clear what the consequences are if he breeches your trust again. </p><p></p><p>I guess the point I'm trying to make is to get clear with yourself about where *you* stand in this and then bottom line it with boyfriend.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 22161, member: 831"] For what it is worth.... My perspective. If there is truly not a threat that he is going to become involved romantically with this woman then, for me, them having contact is a non-issue. Frankly, it muddys up what is the bottom line from where I sit[i] boyfriend lied about staying in contact with her even after promising you to cut all ties.[/i] You have made it clear that you are not okay with this relationship, HOWEVER, he has continued inspite of that. To me, his having contact with her is/was more important than you and your feelings. He may say it isn't, but his actions speak otherwise. Actions is what I care about. Talk is cheap. I tend to take a no nonsense stance when it comes to a betrayal. To me this not about unrealistic expectations. Personally,I find your expectations reasonable. Either he can meet them, or he can't. Can you live with the "can't" as far as this woman is concerned? Can you live with the possibility that regardless of how you feel,he will continue this relationship? If it comes to light that he still communicates with this woman, are you going to end your relationship with him? Is he clear with that? Are you clear about what you want from boyfriend? I would spell it out for him and make abundantly clear what the consequences are if he breeches your trust again. I guess the point I'm trying to make is to get clear with yourself about where *you* stand in this and then bottom line it with boyfriend. [/QUOTE]
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