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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 186352" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>My eldest sister STILL has spousal abuse syndrome. He never laid a finger on her either, but his words were vicious. He left her after 25 years of marriage and she was alone (he remarried one of his mistresses) for the next 15 years. She's had a good man in her life since then - it's now 23 years since her first husband left. She remarried a few years ago. But I still hear her negative attitude to herself emerge at times and I have to chip her about it. We just visited her for a week and a number of times I heard her say, "I don't have the brains to understand that," or "I'm too stupid."</p><p></p><p>I said to her, "That's your ex talking, you should not be letting him still have any power over you."</p><p></p><p>The sad thing about her - the ex's second wife died a few years ago. And the first thing he did was to go round to see my sister (after nearly 20 years with someone else, and after he had verbally abused her and the kids their entire marriage) and ask her to take him back.</p><p></p><p>And you know? She said if she hadn't by this stage just met her new fella, she would have taken him back!</p><p></p><p>THAT is an example of the damage spousal abuse can cause, decades later.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 186352, member: 1991"] My eldest sister STILL has spousal abuse syndrome. He never laid a finger on her either, but his words were vicious. He left her after 25 years of marriage and she was alone (he remarried one of his mistresses) for the next 15 years. She's had a good man in her life since then - it's now 23 years since her first husband left. She remarried a few years ago. But I still hear her negative attitude to herself emerge at times and I have to chip her about it. We just visited her for a week and a number of times I heard her say, "I don't have the brains to understand that," or "I'm too stupid." I said to her, "That's your ex talking, you should not be letting him still have any power over you." The sad thing about her - the ex's second wife died a few years ago. And the first thing he did was to go round to see my sister (after nearly 20 years with someone else, and after he had verbally abused her and the kids their entire marriage) and ask her to take him back. And you know? She said if she hadn't by this stage just met her new fella, she would have taken him back! THAT is an example of the damage spousal abuse can cause, decades later. Marg [/QUOTE]
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