I have been reading lately, and have no real reason to post. In fact, I know I haven't posted in a very long time, because, well, it often feels like we're beating a dead horse on this forum. We complain about kids (who are actually adults) who won't change/grow up/become responsible in one breath and then in the next breath we are asking what we can do to help them change/grow up/become responsible. Each time you help an adult through the act of enabling, you are crippling them a little more. We learn from the mistakes we make and the consequences we face from making them. If we never have to face the consequences for our choices, if we are never made to feel guilty, if we are never made to feel uncomfortable, if we never hurt, then we can not grow!!! There are times when our adult children need our help. A small loan because of an illness, a co-signer on a car. But that is not after making mistake after mistake and expecting us to run to their rescue, then belittling and becoming angry at us, blaming us, for their choices. It is hard to watch them suffer. It is hard to watch them hurt. But they will not become the person they can be if we continue to enable them..