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encopresis (again) [okay...still]
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 87143" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hi & welcome, </p><p></p><p>My son is 17 and is encopretic on demand. WHat I mean by that is if he is angered in some way and feels that messing his pants is vengeance then he will soil himself, sit in it and continues to do so at will. </p><p></p><p>I have no tips to offer that worked for us, but I can tell you some things that helped us with the smell.</p><p>1.) 13 mule team Borax in the initial wash with Tide or Gain detergent worked to get the smell out. </p><p>2.) Leave a bucket outside somewhere and when his pants are found (because they are fantastic at hiding them) make HIM go out and wear rubber gloves in the farthest corner of the yard and wash out the feces from his underwear. This will NOT stop the behavior but you won't have to deal with it. </p><p>3.) Throwing them away when you just can't take it anymore and buying .25 a pair underwear at the good will (wash them in color safe bleach) sometimes just lets you let it go for a week. </p><p>4.) Febreze of any scent in your car especially if you have cloth seats and in the house for the furniture. I covered the chair he sat in with a towel and then covered that with a sheet so the smell wouldn't get into the fabric. </p><p>5.) Wash ALL his clothes separate from anyone elses - wash jeans with underpants to save on water and soap. </p><p>6.) LINE DRY those items as the smell of feces tumbling aroud in a dryer even after you've washed it out of the pants can make you gag. </p><p>7.) A good mattress cover that is washed once a week helps keep the smell out of the mattress or get a plastic cover and wash with Lysol that you mix (makes 9 gallons smells real institutional) </p><p>8.) Get a lidded trash can for the bathroom and keep plastic grocery bags in there (we kept them in the bottom of the cupboard) for disposing of baby wipes so your toilet doesn't get clogged. </p><p>9.) Keep a spray bottle 1/2 bleach 1/2 water in the bathroom to spray the drain down every time he bathes or showers. IF you're on a septic system once a week pour vinegar and a box of baking soda in the bathroom he bathes in drain. Nothing unclogs and to have a plumber come out and have to deal with drains clogged with feces ? OH brother...you are talking SERIOUS expense. </p><p>If you aren't on a septic try using something like Kaboom in the drains once a week....keep in mind that his feces will sit in the drain so if you are bathing after him use that bleach. </p><p>10) You can try using MIRLAX it's tasteless but this isnt' a bowel issue as a rule, it's a control issue and make sure he's drinking plenty of water if you are going to start Mirlax to keep his intestines healthy. They can get dehydrated. </p><p>11.) Get him gloves, a bucket and a scrub brush that is his and make him understand that YOU are not going to clean this up any more. He will be responsible to clean the tub out after each bath (you will inspect) and ignore the meltdowns he WILL have from doing this. Stand in the door way if necessary and let him scrub out the tub with comet. </p><p>12.) He gets ONE towel, one washcloth and his initials are put on there with a magic marker and that is it. No one wants to smell his hiney on their towel and no one wants to use a washcloth that...well you figured that out. </p><p>13.) Berating, yelling about it, making comments that he smells, making a big issue out of it....are not going to help at all. They only serve to frustrate you more and let him enjoy it all the more (in our case anyway) </p><p>14.) No more swimming in the pool. </p><p>15.) You can get him 7 pair of underwear and label them MTWTFSat SUN and make him give you the washed out underpants but more than likely this will frustrate you and he will potty in his jeans. It's worth a try to keep 6 pair and exchange them for unsoiled ones or ones he has soiled and cleaned out himself. </p><p>16.) Don't beat yourself up over this. It's highly unlikely that he is lactose intolerant, or you're feeding him the wrong foods or that you are making him mad so he does it. Again, can't stress this enough - in his mind it's a control issue. Telling him it's a control issue serves no purpose that is something for you to know. When he feels like he's in control of some part of his life, it may, will, can, may not subside. </p><p>17.) He's not going to wear pullups so don't waste your money. </p><p>18.) Embarrassing him will only PROlong this. (Again control issue) </p><p>19.) The best way we found to deal with difficult child and this was to be matter of fact - we locked up his underpants and did the trade for clean ones with him. This made him SO angry that he waited until we left to go to town, got in DF's locked bedroom through a window he opened with a school ID, he stole DF's brand new package of underpants, messed them and left them in the doorway of his room. Nice. Knowing that we wouldn't make an issue about it...(although DF wanted to put them in his pillow case and turn the pillow down) we left it go, when we came home he said "Im leaving and DF said "no...not until you get the underpants, the feces up off the floor, spray some febreze in your room, air out the house, clean off the pants and wash them outside in your bucket." difficult child got so angry he stomped off, and smeared them down the hall. This resulted in him cleaning the wall, denying it all (like DF must have stolen his own underpants, messed in them and left them in difficult child's doorway. - Yeah I know laughing with me.) </p><p></p><p>We figured when girls took an interest in him that this would stop. Nope</p><p>We figured that when he spent the night at friends house it would stop. Nope</p><p>We figured he would outgrow it? NOPE. </p><p>We hope that someday he'll stop - Yup. </p><p></p><p>I can't use mountain berry air freshener any more either. Smells like feces and berrys (again I know...laughing with me not at me.) </p><p></p><p>The best one was when we asked the psychiatric. to help us and so in a session he asked difficult child about it....and difficult child did it right there sitting in the mans recliner. And then there was the hour long ride home. ARGH. </p><p></p><p>Hope something in here helps. Hope it doesn't last to 17 for you, but I can say the bigger issue you make out of it? The more it happens. And I did laxatives, suppositories, Mirlax, Colace, Pull ups, baby wipes, and was in counseling with him 2x a week since age 10, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), psychiatric hospitals, and the only time he stopped it at all was when he was at one of the RTCs - no rhyme or reason for nearly 10 months nothing....he came home and BAM right back to it. </p><p></p><p>I dunno....I'm well read on the subject but with this child? Clueless. </p><p></p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 87143, member: 4964"] Hi & welcome, My son is 17 and is encopretic on demand. WHat I mean by that is if he is angered in some way and feels that messing his pants is vengeance then he will soil himself, sit in it and continues to do so at will. I have no tips to offer that worked for us, but I can tell you some things that helped us with the smell. 1.) 13 mule team Borax in the initial wash with Tide or Gain detergent worked to get the smell out. 2.) Leave a bucket outside somewhere and when his pants are found (because they are fantastic at hiding them) make HIM go out and wear rubber gloves in the farthest corner of the yard and wash out the feces from his underwear. This will NOT stop the behavior but you won't have to deal with it. 3.) Throwing them away when you just can't take it anymore and buying .25 a pair underwear at the good will (wash them in color safe bleach) sometimes just lets you let it go for a week. 4.) Febreze of any scent in your car especially if you have cloth seats and in the house for the furniture. I covered the chair he sat in with a towel and then covered that with a sheet so the smell wouldn't get into the fabric. 5.) Wash ALL his clothes separate from anyone elses - wash jeans with underpants to save on water and soap. 6.) LINE DRY those items as the smell of feces tumbling aroud in a dryer even after you've washed it out of the pants can make you gag. 7.) A good mattress cover that is washed once a week helps keep the smell out of the mattress or get a plastic cover and wash with Lysol that you mix (makes 9 gallons smells real institutional) 8.) Get a lidded trash can for the bathroom and keep plastic grocery bags in there (we kept them in the bottom of the cupboard) for disposing of baby wipes so your toilet doesn't get clogged. 9.) Keep a spray bottle 1/2 bleach 1/2 water in the bathroom to spray the drain down every time he bathes or showers. IF you're on a septic system once a week pour vinegar and a box of baking soda in the bathroom he bathes in drain. Nothing unclogs and to have a plumber come out and have to deal with drains clogged with feces ? OH brother...you are talking SERIOUS expense. If you aren't on a septic try using something like Kaboom in the drains once a week....keep in mind that his feces will sit in the drain so if you are bathing after him use that bleach. 10) You can try using MIRLAX it's tasteless but this isnt' a bowel issue as a rule, it's a control issue and make sure he's drinking plenty of water if you are going to start Mirlax to keep his intestines healthy. They can get dehydrated. 11.) Get him gloves, a bucket and a scrub brush that is his and make him understand that YOU are not going to clean this up any more. He will be responsible to clean the tub out after each bath (you will inspect) and ignore the meltdowns he WILL have from doing this. Stand in the door way if necessary and let him scrub out the tub with comet. 12.) He gets ONE towel, one washcloth and his initials are put on there with a magic marker and that is it. No one wants to smell his hiney on their towel and no one wants to use a washcloth that...well you figured that out. 13.) Berating, yelling about it, making comments that he smells, making a big issue out of it....are not going to help at all. They only serve to frustrate you more and let him enjoy it all the more (in our case anyway) 14.) No more swimming in the pool. 15.) You can get him 7 pair of underwear and label them MTWTFSat SUN and make him give you the washed out underpants but more than likely this will frustrate you and he will potty in his jeans. It's worth a try to keep 6 pair and exchange them for unsoiled ones or ones he has soiled and cleaned out himself. 16.) Don't beat yourself up over this. It's highly unlikely that he is lactose intolerant, or you're feeding him the wrong foods or that you are making him mad so he does it. Again, can't stress this enough - in his mind it's a control issue. Telling him it's a control issue serves no purpose that is something for you to know. When he feels like he's in control of some part of his life, it may, will, can, may not subside. 17.) He's not going to wear pullups so don't waste your money. 18.) Embarrassing him will only PROlong this. (Again control issue) 19.) The best way we found to deal with difficult child and this was to be matter of fact - we locked up his underpants and did the trade for clean ones with him. This made him SO angry that he waited until we left to go to town, got in DF's locked bedroom through a window he opened with a school ID, he stole DF's brand new package of underpants, messed them and left them in the doorway of his room. Nice. Knowing that we wouldn't make an issue about it...(although DF wanted to put them in his pillow case and turn the pillow down) we left it go, when we came home he said "Im leaving and DF said "no...not until you get the underpants, the feces up off the floor, spray some febreze in your room, air out the house, clean off the pants and wash them outside in your bucket." difficult child got so angry he stomped off, and smeared them down the hall. This resulted in him cleaning the wall, denying it all (like DF must have stolen his own underpants, messed in them and left them in difficult child's doorway. - Yeah I know laughing with me.) We figured when girls took an interest in him that this would stop. Nope We figured that when he spent the night at friends house it would stop. Nope We figured he would outgrow it? NOPE. We hope that someday he'll stop - Yup. I can't use mountain berry air freshener any more either. Smells like feces and berrys (again I know...laughing with me not at me.) The best one was when we asked the psychiatric. to help us and so in a session he asked difficult child about it....and difficult child did it right there sitting in the mans recliner. And then there was the hour long ride home. ARGH. Hope something in here helps. Hope it doesn't last to 17 for you, but I can say the bigger issue you make out of it? The more it happens. And I did laxatives, suppositories, Mirlax, Colace, Pull ups, baby wipes, and was in counseling with him 2x a week since age 10, Residential Treatment Center (RTC), psychiatric hospitals, and the only time he stopped it at all was when he was at one of the RTCs - no rhyme or reason for nearly 10 months nothing....he came home and BAM right back to it. I dunno....I'm well read on the subject but with this child? Clueless. Star [/QUOTE]
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