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encopresis (again) [okay...still]
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 87214" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Esther and Star are both right on the money. AND speaking from considerable experience.</p><p></p><p>Our problems were not quite so bad - or maybe I'm kidding myself here. We had it with both boys, however, plus a slight amount with easy child 2/difficult child 2, in that she would wipe it on the walls and then deny liability.</p><p></p><p>With Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), there is also a factor of simply not being as aware of body signals. I do think this plays a part in the constipation in the first place. And also with BOTH boys (but in different ways) there was a sense of, "I do not like this, I do not like that my body produces a stool every so often. It is smelly, it is uncomfortable, maybe if I ignore it it will just go away."</p><p></p><p>And when this happens when they are too young to be reasoned with (common in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) then you have an ongoing problems with toilet training, at a time when everybody else is successfully training THEIR kid.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 1 managed to get toilet trained for bowels but it took a lot of effort and his grandfather literally bullying the **** out of him once a week. By then the kid would be frantic - he wouldn't put it in his nappy and he refused to sit on a potty or the toilet. He was just determined that he wasn't going to go.</p><p>And for years, he was not good about remembering to go - we would need to remind him, nag him etc. We could smell him from the other end of the house - not that he was soiled, it's just that if you leave it in the body long enough, the smell percolates through anyway. We would ask him, "When did you last open your bowels?" and if he couldn't answer, or couldn't remember, we told him to take a good book and plenty of time. We were still doing this into his late teens.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3 wouldn't use a public toilet, or a toilet at school. He would wait until he got home. And wiping afterwards - he seemed to have no idea. I would get phone calls to come to the school to clean him up.</p><p></p><p>We dealt with this by daily (or twice-daily) checks followed by insisting he clean himself thoroughly (followed by another immediate check). Part of cleaning involved changing into clean clothes and washing the dirty clothes. We keep several packets of disposable gloves always at the ready. Solid matter was to be removed from clothing and flushed, soiled clothing to be put into a bucket and soaked, and then the child was later called back to deal with the bucket - a manual wash (we have a manual plastic plunger thing which means you don't have to get your hands into it too much) which then went through a rinse, and finally the child could put the soiled clothing into the washing machine. No shaming in all of this - just matter-of-fact management and support while he did it.</p><p></p><p>Changing clothes - you need to change EVERYTHING, or at least everything on the lower half. That stuff gets around and we found if the child was completely cleaned (and we checked) then putting on ANY garment he'd been wearing also put some of the smell back on, which defeated the purpose. besides, this way we were able to quickly build up a load of just that person's clothing, so other people's clothes didn't have to go through the same machine wash. We only insisted on soaking the stuff that was really soiled, the rest of it went straight into the washing machine.</p><p></p><p>And Star is right - sometimes it's easier to just throw away the really worst of the soiled clothing. We buy a lot of op-shop clothing for difficult child 3 because he also chews his clothes a lot. difficult child 1 also wore out clothes quickly. Between the soiling and the wear - by the time they had finished with a lot of their clothing, it was only fit for compost.</p><p></p><p>The smears on the walls - I remember a number of times handing easy child 2/difficult child 2 a scrubbing brush and bucket and telling hr to go scrub walls. And because she insisted it wasn't her, I also took a turn and got the other kids to have a turn.</p><p></p><p>But you MUST avoid any attempt to use shame - it only makes the problem a lot worse. Accidents WILL happen and they need to not be afraid to go to you and say, "I messed up again." The sooner the soiling is dealt with, the less it has a chance to get spread. Finding a bag of soiled clothing from school when the kid gets home - it's not great, but it's far better than finding the same bag hidden in the bedroom, after it's been marinating for several months.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 87214, member: 1991"] Esther and Star are both right on the money. AND speaking from considerable experience. Our problems were not quite so bad - or maybe I'm kidding myself here. We had it with both boys, however, plus a slight amount with easy child 2/difficult child 2, in that she would wipe it on the walls and then deny liability. With Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), there is also a factor of simply not being as aware of body signals. I do think this plays a part in the constipation in the first place. And also with BOTH boys (but in different ways) there was a sense of, "I do not like this, I do not like that my body produces a stool every so often. It is smelly, it is uncomfortable, maybe if I ignore it it will just go away." And when this happens when they are too young to be reasoned with (common in Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD)) then you have an ongoing problems with toilet training, at a time when everybody else is successfully training THEIR kid. difficult child 1 managed to get toilet trained for bowels but it took a lot of effort and his grandfather literally bullying the **** out of him once a week. By then the kid would be frantic - he wouldn't put it in his nappy and he refused to sit on a potty or the toilet. He was just determined that he wasn't going to go. And for years, he was not good about remembering to go - we would need to remind him, nag him etc. We could smell him from the other end of the house - not that he was soiled, it's just that if you leave it in the body long enough, the smell percolates through anyway. We would ask him, "When did you last open your bowels?" and if he couldn't answer, or couldn't remember, we told him to take a good book and plenty of time. We were still doing this into his late teens. difficult child 3 wouldn't use a public toilet, or a toilet at school. He would wait until he got home. And wiping afterwards - he seemed to have no idea. I would get phone calls to come to the school to clean him up. We dealt with this by daily (or twice-daily) checks followed by insisting he clean himself thoroughly (followed by another immediate check). Part of cleaning involved changing into clean clothes and washing the dirty clothes. We keep several packets of disposable gloves always at the ready. Solid matter was to be removed from clothing and flushed, soiled clothing to be put into a bucket and soaked, and then the child was later called back to deal with the bucket - a manual wash (we have a manual plastic plunger thing which means you don't have to get your hands into it too much) which then went through a rinse, and finally the child could put the soiled clothing into the washing machine. No shaming in all of this - just matter-of-fact management and support while he did it. Changing clothes - you need to change EVERYTHING, or at least everything on the lower half. That stuff gets around and we found if the child was completely cleaned (and we checked) then putting on ANY garment he'd been wearing also put some of the smell back on, which defeated the purpose. besides, this way we were able to quickly build up a load of just that person's clothing, so other people's clothes didn't have to go through the same machine wash. We only insisted on soaking the stuff that was really soiled, the rest of it went straight into the washing machine. And Star is right - sometimes it's easier to just throw away the really worst of the soiled clothing. We buy a lot of op-shop clothing for difficult child 3 because he also chews his clothes a lot. difficult child 1 also wore out clothes quickly. Between the soiling and the wear - by the time they had finished with a lot of their clothing, it was only fit for compost. The smears on the walls - I remember a number of times handing easy child 2/difficult child 2 a scrubbing brush and bucket and telling hr to go scrub walls. And because she insisted it wasn't her, I also took a turn and got the other kids to have a turn. But you MUST avoid any attempt to use shame - it only makes the problem a lot worse. Accidents WILL happen and they need to not be afraid to go to you and say, "I messed up again." The sooner the soiling is dealt with, the less it has a chance to get spread. Finding a bag of soiled clothing from school when the kid gets home - it's not great, but it's far better than finding the same bag hidden in the bedroom, after it's been marinating for several months. Marg [/QUOTE]
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