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encopresis dealing for 8 years
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<blockquote data-quote="Estherfromjerusalem" data-source="post: 92977" data-attributes="member: 77"><p>Hello TMB2S,</p><p></p><p>I just wanted to welcome you to the site. </p><p></p><p>Your enco situation sounds so hard, and I feel for you. I know that with my son (who is now 21) it went, just like that, on its own, when he was about 13 and a half. (It had begun when he was four and a half, after he had been completely clean and dry for a couple of years.)</p><p></p><p>Your situation sounds more extreme, and I don't really know what to say to you. Just one thing I wanted to point out: when they don't feel that they are going, it isn't the muscles that are the factor there, but the nerves. With encopresis, the pressure on the bottom of the colon causes the nerves there to be damaged, and then they don't feel it. The damage seems to be reversible, although I'm not a doctor, just a fellow-sufferer (in the past).</p><p></p><p>I know that with us, the emotional situation improved when I finally got it into my thick head that he couldn't help it, and we stopped using anger and punishments at home. Instead, we accepted him as he was, and loved him, and didn't blame him. It took a while, but in the end it did help.</p><p></p><p>Your son's behaviour sounds outrageous, but when you think about it, it is really a defense mechanism that he seems to have developed because he is suffering and the situation is intolerable for him more than for anyone else. I understand how awful it is for all of you, but it is worst of all for him, because he is being rejected by his friends too because of the smell. That is devastating for the child. My son is traumatized by it to this day, and although he is 21, it is a subject we are not allowed to mention.</p><p></p><p>Enough -- I didn't mean to preach to you in any way. I feel for you and I know how much you are suffering, and all your family. I send you a good strong hug, and there will be others who will come along and write to you on this thread.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there! You have come to a great place, and you will get a lot of support here. What helped me more than anything else was when he was about 9 years old and I discovered a support group on the internet for parents of children with encopresis. Just "talking" about it, and discovering there were other families trying to cope with the same problem was like magic for me. It took a while, but it helped me calm down and then I was able to cope with it all better.</p><p></p><p>So "talk" to us, and maybe that will be the first step towards helping him with the encopresis, through you.</p><p></p><p>Love, Esther</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Estherfromjerusalem, post: 92977, member: 77"] Hello TMB2S, I just wanted to welcome you to the site. Your enco situation sounds so hard, and I feel for you. I know that with my son (who is now 21) it went, just like that, on its own, when he was about 13 and a half. (It had begun when he was four and a half, after he had been completely clean and dry for a couple of years.) Your situation sounds more extreme, and I don't really know what to say to you. Just one thing I wanted to point out: when they don't feel that they are going, it isn't the muscles that are the factor there, but the nerves. With encopresis, the pressure on the bottom of the colon causes the nerves there to be damaged, and then they don't feel it. The damage seems to be reversible, although I'm not a doctor, just a fellow-sufferer (in the past). I know that with us, the emotional situation improved when I finally got it into my thick head that he couldn't help it, and we stopped using anger and punishments at home. Instead, we accepted him as he was, and loved him, and didn't blame him. It took a while, but in the end it did help. Your son's behaviour sounds outrageous, but when you think about it, it is really a defense mechanism that he seems to have developed because he is suffering and the situation is intolerable for him more than for anyone else. I understand how awful it is for all of you, but it is worst of all for him, because he is being rejected by his friends too because of the smell. That is devastating for the child. My son is traumatized by it to this day, and although he is 21, it is a subject we are not allowed to mention. Enough -- I didn't mean to preach to you in any way. I feel for you and I know how much you are suffering, and all your family. I send you a good strong hug, and there will be others who will come along and write to you on this thread. Hang in there! You have come to a great place, and you will get a lot of support here. What helped me more than anything else was when he was about 9 years old and I discovered a support group on the internet for parents of children with encopresis. Just "talking" about it, and discovering there were other families trying to cope with the same problem was like magic for me. It took a while, but it helped me calm down and then I was able to cope with it all better. So "talk" to us, and maybe that will be the first step towards helping him with the encopresis, through you. Love, Esther [/QUOTE]
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