I'm currently quite unhappy with Joy. There is nothing actually new in his behaviour but it did hit me into my face this week. And at times, when reading some of you others to write about your typical kids and how they relate to their troubled siblings, those same ugly characteristics seem to come out at times. Our Insolent Whelp has been challenging and special needs kid from the get-go. We have tried to make up the sibling taking so much of our time and attention to Joy. Especially husband has been very involved in Joy's sports and I too have made it a point to have time alone with him to do fun things and give him attention he may feel Ache robs from him at home. Our Joy really is a super kid in many ways, doing always well at school, doing very well in every sport he ever tried, always having lots of friends and few very close ones, being popular among girls now when he is older, well-liked by adults, good manners, good friend, nice to little children and small animals like they say. Really a son to be proud of. Also reasonably obedient and respectful at home, fun, easy-going and helpful (well, after some nagging.) But he truly seems to think he is somehow better or more deserving than his brother or other people with issues. That his share good luck with genes, family he happened to be born at and good looks somehow make him more worthy and more entitled. Maybe even that me and husband would love him more than Ache; or that we at least should. Ache's and Joy's relationship is okay. Ache adores his little brother in little absent-minded way and let's him get away with anything. Joy doesn't show his disdain too much to Ache's face. But I really have a problem with this. Joy truly has many advantages in life, but I certainly didn't want to raise him to feel superior because of that; more that noblesse oblige. Because he has gotten so much, more can be also asked from him in return. What really opened my mind to this, and made me feel almost sick, was a discussion he and husband were having about money and to which I got involved. Joy had a nerve to ask us, how much we are paying for Ache having difficulty finding suitable therapist and whining why we are not willing to give him that towards a car. We were actually considering getting him a car, but because he kind of needs it, always borrowing mother in law's car is bit embarrassing, but that he had balls to actually question our use of our money towards his brother's medical expenses and compare it to what he is getting and whine how we always favour Ache while he is so much better son. And this is a kid I just earlier that day bought Canada Goose jacket from the NA web store (price, 22 % import taxes and cargo makes a small fortune to pay from a jacket for a kid) just because he wanted it (not because some much cheaper jacket wouldn't keep him warm.) husband actually laid him with some figures. Like how he is responsible over half of our monthly food budget still now at 18 and half, and will likely be our financially responsibility and living at home at least two more years (our kids start school late, Joy took an extra year to accommodate his sport and after that he has military obligations to fulfil, so it will take that time and we are totally okay with that) and that at his age Ache had been out of the house and making it mostly on his own a year already. husband also went so far, that he brought up some figures of money we had used to them earlier, that Joy's second sport cost us over the double what Ache's second sport cost, and that because Joy was better than Ache at their third sport, we took part on many events farther away that required hotel nights and gas and sent him to camps we did not sent Ache. And that because Ache was better at their main sport, the difference financing their playing that sport is more than any car Joy could plan to have. Okay, those comparisons were not fair at all, there has been things also before that Ache has needed and that has cost us a lot: like me staying home for about 9 years instead of year or two per kid like we originally planned. And any cost Joy has caused us, can't really compare to seven years of my salary. But the point was clear and true; we give our kids what they need and occasionally what they want, they are not our employees to whom we would pay according virtue of being a good son. We haven't really seen Joy since husband put him down, I think he is mobbing at his girlfriend's home. It is not about the car or him wanting that, I can understand that, but his ugly, ugly attitude and sense of superiority. How he dares?!? He does have had a bad year and I understand he is in bad mood. Things have been very tough with sport without his fault. School has required quite a lot of juggling and logistics are a nightmare. Add a girlfriend who is not happy with time he has to spare to her and her strong opinions about Ache, Ache's girlfriend and how Joy is short shifted. But he should know better at this point! I would understand it, if he was 5-years-old and jealous. But he is frigging 18-year-old young man I raised better!