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General Parenting
environment can affect children?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 119276" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I just hated to read that you didn't want us to worry because he wasn't hitting you or anything. HE IS ABUSING YOU. Period. flat out. Emotional and verbal abuse can leave much more painful scars than physical abuse. You can't "see" the results of emotional or verbal abuse the way you can see the effects of physical abuse. </p><p></p><p>The reason the kids gravitate to him is simple. When a child is in an abusive situation they will be extra nice to the ABUSER. They want the abuser to be happy so they do more of what the abuser wants. They HOPE and PRAY that this will work. Because if it doesn't, does that mean they are not worthy of a calm home, worthy of being loved?</p><p></p><p>I lived some of this. My bro would do almost anything to start a fight, and if he could get mom and dad to fight each other it was extra special for him. I spent many many many hours as a child curled up into a ball, hugging my Kanga or my cat, praying it would stop. I was very much upset by the fights, and I did everything I could to try to keep the people most likely to fight (dad and bro) happy. </p><p></p><p>THIS IS WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE DOING!</p><p></p><p>Catholic charities, other churches' charities, Social Services, Domestic Violence help, whatever you can find. </p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 119276, member: 1233"] I just hated to read that you didn't want us to worry because he wasn't hitting you or anything. HE IS ABUSING YOU. Period. flat out. Emotional and verbal abuse can leave much more painful scars than physical abuse. You can't "see" the results of emotional or verbal abuse the way you can see the effects of physical abuse. The reason the kids gravitate to him is simple. When a child is in an abusive situation they will be extra nice to the ABUSER. They want the abuser to be happy so they do more of what the abuser wants. They HOPE and PRAY that this will work. Because if it doesn't, does that mean they are not worthy of a calm home, worthy of being loved? I lived some of this. My bro would do almost anything to start a fight, and if he could get mom and dad to fight each other it was extra special for him. I spent many many many hours as a child curled up into a ball, hugging my Kanga or my cat, praying it would stop. I was very much upset by the fights, and I did everything I could to try to keep the people most likely to fight (dad and bro) happy. THIS IS WHAT YOUR KIDS ARE DOING! Catholic charities, other churches' charities, Social Services, Domestic Violence help, whatever you can find. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
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