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environment can affect children?
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<blockquote data-quote="Big Bad Kitty" data-source="post: 120376" data-attributes="member: 3647"><p>Jen</p><p></p><p>I am jumping into his late, I haven't quite figured out the new forum.</p><p></p><p>OK, I'm gonna just say it like it is.</p><p></p><p>Where you are is bad, we have established that. You are being abused, and your kids are watching it. Not only is it bad for you, but it is bad for them. They are seeing you treated badly and with no respect. They are growing up thinking that this is how things are done. If nothing changes, this is the type of man that they will gravitate towards.</p><p></p><p>Your solution is to move in with another man? I know you say he is a friend, but I see a red flag the size of a Buick here. OK, so you are just friends. Then you move in. And you cry to him about how rough things were. And he holds you while you cry. Next thing you know...</p><p></p><p>And then your girls have seen you make a lateral move, out of the frying pan into the fire.</p><p></p><p>It has been suggested that you call a DV shelter. I second that nomination. Going there first is not only safer, but the resources you will aquire there will be ones you can use to get back on your feet. Your friend will not have those resources. I spent 7 months in one of those shelters (and, like you, it was verbal abuse only, but abuse is abuse) and now live in a condo with my daughter. I guess the difference is if you keep going from guy to guy, you keep dragging all your baggage with you. If you go get help to break the cycle, you eventually learn to leave the bad baggage when you move on. And you walk out of there with your head held high, knowing that you are providing a good example for your children.</p><p></p><p>JMHO.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Big Bad Kitty, post: 120376, member: 3647"] Jen I am jumping into his late, I haven't quite figured out the new forum. OK, I'm gonna just say it like it is. Where you are is bad, we have established that. You are being abused, and your kids are watching it. Not only is it bad for you, but it is bad for them. They are seeing you treated badly and with no respect. They are growing up thinking that this is how things are done. If nothing changes, this is the type of man that they will gravitate towards. Your solution is to move in with another man? I know you say he is a friend, but I see a red flag the size of a Buick here. OK, so you are just friends. Then you move in. And you cry to him about how rough things were. And he holds you while you cry. Next thing you know... And then your girls have seen you make a lateral move, out of the frying pan into the fire. It has been suggested that you call a DV shelter. I second that nomination. Going there first is not only safer, but the resources you will aquire there will be ones you can use to get back on your feet. Your friend will not have those resources. I spent 7 months in one of those shelters (and, like you, it was verbal abuse only, but abuse is abuse) and now live in a condo with my daughter. I guess the difference is if you keep going from guy to guy, you keep dragging all your baggage with you. If you go get help to break the cycle, you eventually learn to leave the bad baggage when you move on. And you walk out of there with your head held high, knowing that you are providing a good example for your children. JMHO. [/QUOTE]
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