ER Hospital, off to stabilize at a short term, off to long term .. RINSE REPEAT.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by WBLfromIL, Sep 22, 2016.

  1. WBLfromIL

    WBLfromIL New Member

    Hello to all. New to these forums and I feel I've finally found a place to vent. My boy is currently 16 (almost 17) and has been in therapy basicall you since he's been a very small child.

    To try and make a long story short, he has been diagnosed with just about everything:

    Oppositional Defiant Disorder, BiPolar, General Anxiety, Mood Disorder, and now they've toyed with Borderline Personality Disorder.

    Medications (he's been on and off them all)

    Will not go to school (and this has gone on since very young). Very emotional, hates me one minute-turns around and demands my every ounce of attention the next.

    Violence stems back with him since early childhood and now unfortunately he overpowers everyone in the family but mostly attacks me when other members are not home.

    Sexual promiscuity is off the hook.

    Police have been at our home so many times they know the drill.

    ER visits, short term residential stays, long term residential stays (so many I can't even count) and he fools everyone. Of course he's perfect and everyone else is the problem. Every time he's returned home it isn't long until he's back in.

    Everything is horrible, my family life, my marriage is dead, and I'm at a loss. Will anything ever work. Will magically he awaken at 20 or 25 or 30 and change? Therapy, alone, family, all that x 1,000,000,000,000 .... nothing is ever accomplished.

    He fools those that he needs to so he can get released. Follows all directions and protocols like a champ. Returns and he's beyond just beyond what is imaginable.

    I'm sure there are others in my shoes. Just wanted to throw some thoughts out.
     
  2. jetsam

    jetsam Active Member

    hello bbl I'm sorry for what you are going through! Happy you found this site. Many will read and post so keep coming back. You definitely sound stressed. You need to take care of you! If you don't you won't be able to be of any help to anyone! Try to be kind to yourself. by that i mean treat yourself to things you enjoy! carve out a little time each day for you. a bubblebath, a good book, manicure or pedicure anything you enjoy BE GOOD TO YOURSELF. It will really help in your overall wellbeing. Even if its only 1/2 hr a day...something.
    We have all been through different versions of your hell, and we cope as best we can, and find strength here with the support of others. Hugs to you , others will be along and post
     
  3. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Administrator Staff Member

    Welcome @WBLfromIL You are have been on very difficult road in your parenting journey. Your boy is on his own life journey. You have been there for him and have brought in professional help. Great job! You have been there for him!

    I think you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Sounds like you have been focusing on supporting your son for a very long time. Taking time for you and healing your life would be what I would focus on now, if I were you. He is almost an adult and his life will be what he makes of it. You and your quality of life are important too.
     
  4. Tylersmom1979

    Tylersmom1979 New Member

    I am in the middle of a lot of this with my 14 year old. In and out of hospitals. One 9 month residential visit. Hes doing better at this point but anything as you know can change from one day to the next. I feel for your marriage. Im single and realize that i cannot have a relationship while i have my son at home. There would be no way i could handle one at the same time as me handling my son. I can barely handle my job at times while my son is in the thick of it. Good luck.
     
  5. MommaK

    MommaK Member

    Hugs for you. We went thru similar in the last 2 years with my daughter. She is 14 now and just finished partial in patient treatment. Previous concilor was made to believe we abused her and called CPS. She was physical with me, my mother in law and her younger brother quite a few times. She would rant and rave how much she hated me then demand my undivided attention and if she didn't get it she would do something to get it. My husband and I were on three brink of divorce because our relationship was suffering so badly due to what we were going thru with her. Fortunately for us we had the option to move her 45 minutes away to live with grandparents and attend a new school. Right now they are in the honeymoon phase as she just moved a week ago. She believes if she does what we want she will get to move back home so she is cooperating. In a month or 2 when she realizes she is staying for good the attitude and behavior will ramp back up. We saw her Wednesday and she acted a complete butt towards us and like she was miserable but she acts completely different with them. She has been diagnosed bipolar 1 and with traits of antisocial and histrionic personality disorder. She also is ADHD and is on medications for bipolar and the ADHD.
     
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