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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 575517" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I can see why your daughter might feel 'left out' of a relationship you're now involved in, especially since the divorce is so new and feelings so raw. My guess, without knowing too much, is that she might really feel abandoned by you. It's hard with kids, they can't always verbalized their deepest feelings so it's much easier to create a smoke screen, such as a dramatic exit, rather then admit the more vulnerable feelings of sorrow, abandonment, fear, etc. It's easier to be angry then it is to be sad, so many of us opt for anger, especially young people who haven't gotten their communication tools together yet. </p><p></p><p>Just with the peripheral knowledge we have, it does sound as if you really love her and want to work it out with her. That alone and some good communication in a supportive, loving way, will work wonders over time. Sometimes all of us need some reassurance, we all need to know how much we're loved and valued, she may not have been quite ready for another woman to be part of your life. I recall a friend of mine telling his only daughter, after he and his wife split, that girlfriends may come and go, but she would always be his special girl, no one could take her place, she was his heart..............I happened to be there when he told her that and she just beamed, you could see in her eyes how much that meant to her. She was probably about 18 then. Your daughter may really need to hear how much you love her and that she is special and will not be replaced by a new love in your life, no matter what. She's lost a lot recently, with the divorce and now a new relationship in your life. Without knowing details, I can understand how she might be hurting.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 575517, member: 13542"] I can see why your daughter might feel 'left out' of a relationship you're now involved in, especially since the divorce is so new and feelings so raw. My guess, without knowing too much, is that she might really feel abandoned by you. It's hard with kids, they can't always verbalized their deepest feelings so it's much easier to create a smoke screen, such as a dramatic exit, rather then admit the more vulnerable feelings of sorrow, abandonment, fear, etc. It's easier to be angry then it is to be sad, so many of us opt for anger, especially young people who haven't gotten their communication tools together yet. Just with the peripheral knowledge we have, it does sound as if you really love her and want to work it out with her. That alone and some good communication in a supportive, loving way, will work wonders over time. Sometimes all of us need some reassurance, we all need to know how much we're loved and valued, she may not have been quite ready for another woman to be part of your life. I recall a friend of mine telling his only daughter, after he and his wife split, that girlfriends may come and go, but she would always be his special girl, no one could take her place, she was his heart..............I happened to be there when he told her that and she just beamed, you could see in her eyes how much that meant to her. She was probably about 18 then. Your daughter may really need to hear how much you love her and that she is special and will not be replaced by a new love in your life, no matter what. She's lost a lot recently, with the divorce and now a new relationship in your life. Without knowing details, I can understand how she might be hurting. [/QUOTE]
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