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estanged children
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 575839" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>Rmccart, first of all, welcome to the board. This is a wonderful and supportive environment. As we say, glad you found us, sorry you had to find us.</p><p></p><p>I would like to offer my perspective as a child who is estranged from my parents. I've not seen or spoken to them in several years, and don't see the situation changing in the near future.</p><p></p><p>Here's what I would suggest to you (and what I wish I could have had from my own parents). Clearly your daughter is hurting, but she doesn't feel she can talk to you about it. I would let her know that you love her, you always will love her, and you recognize that she's in terrible pain. That you'd like to work through anything between the two of you, but also understand that she might need time and space before she's ready. Then sit back and do nothing further. Give her the time and space to miss you, to get past whatever anger, hurt and resentment she's feeling, and start remembering the good things about your relationship with her. At that point she may be ready to resume contact.</p><p></p><p>Before she's ready, any pushing you do will just drive her further away. And then it becomes harder to reconcile should you ever get to that point.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 575839, member: 3907"] Rmccart, first of all, welcome to the board. This is a wonderful and supportive environment. As we say, glad you found us, sorry you had to find us. I would like to offer my perspective as a child who is estranged from my parents. I've not seen or spoken to them in several years, and don't see the situation changing in the near future. Here's what I would suggest to you (and what I wish I could have had from my own parents). Clearly your daughter is hurting, but she doesn't feel she can talk to you about it. I would let her know that you love her, you always will love her, and you recognize that she's in terrible pain. That you'd like to work through anything between the two of you, but also understand that she might need time and space before she's ready. Then sit back and do nothing further. Give her the time and space to miss you, to get past whatever anger, hurt and resentment she's feeling, and start remembering the good things about your relationship with her. At that point she may be ready to resume contact. Before she's ready, any pushing you do will just drive her further away. And then it becomes harder to reconcile should you ever get to that point. [/QUOTE]
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