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Parent Emeritus
Estranged adult son and granddaughter
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 596503" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I went through this with Katie and the grandkids for 6 years. </p><p></p><p>The only way I know how to put it is that we grieved for them as if they had died. It was the same process.........only a bit more complicated because we knew they were alive. (and I always knew their whereabouts because I kept track via computer) </p><p></p><p>I took it hard, exceptionally hard. Up until the point where she had left I'd basically raised Kayla and Alex....so while they were grandchildren, the bond was stronger. Fred took it much harder. He got furious. The level of his emotion alone told me how deeply he was hurting. He refused, flat out refused to talk of them for a period of years. That made it harder on me. But I had my family here........and that certainly helped. mother in law disowned Katie completely. Would not discuss it. She was done. Period. Her actions had turned her sibs world upside down........so yeah. </p><p></p><p>But as you grieve for anyone you've lost........over the years we began to heal and move on. Doesn't mean we still didn't love them or think of them at times. We even finally got to the point where talking about them didn't cause pain and we could talk about it again. </p><p></p><p>It was Fred who balked at the reunification 5 yrs ago. And I do mean balked. Suddenly he was furious again. He stayed that way even when they literally arrived on our doorstep 3 yrs ago. It simmered down to where he could hold a civil conversation........but I think he passed away still furious over the way she unnecessarily hurt not only him but the rest of the family. </p><p></p><p>I often find myself wishing of late that he was still here to see the progress being made. </p><p></p><p>((hugs))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 596503, member: 84"] I went through this with Katie and the grandkids for 6 years. The only way I know how to put it is that we grieved for them as if they had died. It was the same process.........only a bit more complicated because we knew they were alive. (and I always knew their whereabouts because I kept track via computer) I took it hard, exceptionally hard. Up until the point where she had left I'd basically raised Kayla and Alex....so while they were grandchildren, the bond was stronger. Fred took it much harder. He got furious. The level of his emotion alone told me how deeply he was hurting. He refused, flat out refused to talk of them for a period of years. That made it harder on me. But I had my family here........and that certainly helped. mother in law disowned Katie completely. Would not discuss it. She was done. Period. Her actions had turned her sibs world upside down........so yeah. But as you grieve for anyone you've lost........over the years we began to heal and move on. Doesn't mean we still didn't love them or think of them at times. We even finally got to the point where talking about them didn't cause pain and we could talk about it again. It was Fred who balked at the reunification 5 yrs ago. And I do mean balked. Suddenly he was furious again. He stayed that way even when they literally arrived on our doorstep 3 yrs ago. It simmered down to where he could hold a civil conversation........but I think he passed away still furious over the way she unnecessarily hurt not only him but the rest of the family. I often find myself wishing of late that he was still here to see the progress being made. ((hugs)) [/QUOTE]
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