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Estranged family members want to reconnect
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<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 330044" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>At this time of the rolling year, I find myself facing a dilemma. </p><p></p><p>I have mentioned my difficult child-family in passing, but have never really gone into too much detail about them. I still don't really want to get into the whole mess, but here's a short sketch so that you understand what I'm dealing with.</p><p></p><p><strong>difficult child-father</strong>: Antisocial Personality Disorder. He truly fits the textbook definition of a sociopath. Would happily see me dead, but considers violence beneath his dignity.</p><p></p><p><strong>difficult child-mother</strong>: Schizophrenic. Spiteful, vengeful woman. I spent much of my childhood mothering her.</p><p></p><p><strong>difficult child-brother</strong>: Severe ADHD, likely personality disorder, undiagnosed. Happy-go-lucky demeanour, combined with a childhood pattern of throwing me under the bus to establish himself as the parental favourite. </p><p></p><p>About five years ago, I broke off all contact with the lot of them. This, after a protracted run of very difficult times during which, among other things, difficult child-father, with help from Mother and Brother tried to split up husband and me, have Little easy child taken away, and have me involuntarily and permanently committed to a psychiatric hospital. difficult child-father is a prominent doctor in the city in which we both live, so he very nearly succeeded. The fallout of his actions is STILL winding its way through the courts.</p><p></p><p>I don't hate them or hold a grudge. I think I've even managed to forgive them. However, their actions opened my eyes to how they really felt about me, and I learned that life was much healthier without their involvement. Little easy child still sees them, by court order, but they have no other contact with me or my family, and I don't see them or speak to them.</p><p></p><p><strong>Now, the dilemma</strong>. This morning, I got a message from my sister in law, difficult child-brother's wife. She found me through a mutual contact on a social network and decided to get in touch. The tone of the note is friendly, chatty and light, as though we just got together for coffee a month ago, instead of having no contact at all for the last 5 years.</p><p></p><p>I've been trying to examine my feelings about this in detail...so far, I think I feel a sort of numb indifference to all of the people involved, combined with mild annoyance that this item has been put on my to-do list. </p><p></p><p>I am struggling with whether I should reply at all, and if so, what on earth I should say. husband does hold a grudge toward them for how they hurt me, and I know he would advise me to block her immediately, but I'm not sure if that's the approach I want to take.</p><p></p><p>So, what do you all think?</p><p></p><p>Trinity</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 330044, member: 3907"] At this time of the rolling year, I find myself facing a dilemma. I have mentioned my difficult child-family in passing, but have never really gone into too much detail about them. I still don't really want to get into the whole mess, but here's a short sketch so that you understand what I'm dealing with. [B]difficult child-father[/B]: Antisocial Personality Disorder. He truly fits the textbook definition of a sociopath. Would happily see me dead, but considers violence beneath his dignity. [B]difficult child-mother[/B]: Schizophrenic. Spiteful, vengeful woman. I spent much of my childhood mothering her. [B]difficult child-brother[/B]: Severe ADHD, likely personality disorder, undiagnosed. Happy-go-lucky demeanour, combined with a childhood pattern of throwing me under the bus to establish himself as the parental favourite. About five years ago, I broke off all contact with the lot of them. This, after a protracted run of very difficult times during which, among other things, difficult child-father, with help from Mother and Brother tried to split up husband and me, have Little easy child taken away, and have me involuntarily and permanently committed to a psychiatric hospital. difficult child-father is a prominent doctor in the city in which we both live, so he very nearly succeeded. The fallout of his actions is STILL winding its way through the courts. I don't hate them or hold a grudge. I think I've even managed to forgive them. However, their actions opened my eyes to how they really felt about me, and I learned that life was much healthier without their involvement. Little easy child still sees them, by court order, but they have no other contact with me or my family, and I don't see them or speak to them. [B]Now, the dilemma[/B]. This morning, I got a message from my sister in law, difficult child-brother's wife. She found me through a mutual contact on a social network and decided to get in touch. The tone of the note is friendly, chatty and light, as though we just got together for coffee a month ago, instead of having no contact at all for the last 5 years. I've been trying to examine my feelings about this in detail...so far, I think I feel a sort of numb indifference to all of the people involved, combined with mild annoyance that this item has been put on my to-do list. I am struggling with whether I should reply at all, and if so, what on earth I should say. husband does hold a grudge toward them for how they hurt me, and I know he would advise me to block her immediately, but I'm not sure if that's the approach I want to take. So, what do you all think? Trinity [/QUOTE]
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