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Estranged family members want to reconnect
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<blockquote data-quote="Mattsmom277" data-source="post: 330050" data-attributes="member: 4264"><p>I have to say, most of us with families at the level of dysfunction (isn't it sad that your story is so heartwrenching yet common????) will probably always wish it could be better, different, livable. Who wants to write their own family off completely? </p><p></p><p>The thing I've learned with people as toxic as my family (and seems like yours from your explanation as well) is that there is no contact small enough to prevent more problems. I've learned the hard way that boundaries put in place by us to prevent more damage, are usually senseless as the other parties only see we are in contact and that is enough for them to weave their own brand of nasty into our worlds.</p><p></p><p>I think if it were me, I'd simply click off the message as if it never was. Lock you in a hospital permanently? Take your child? Destroy your marriage???? That is literally everything valuable to an adult. Your safety and very life (taken by a hospital??), your offspring and your life partner. Those are things that are NOT to be messed with by others. </p><p></p><p>We dont' choose the families that we are born to. We do choose our spouses and to have our own children. I'd protect that to the ends of the earth. </p><p></p><p>I'm so sorry that they have creeped in under your radar after so much time. I'm betting there was family talk through the holidays, your name came up and thus you were on the sister in law's radar and she reached out to you. I'd remember she's chosen as her life mate, a man who would throw his own sister under the bus for favor with his parents. She might be nice as pie, but she is still attached for life, by choice, to a person who has harmed you and sounds like would again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mattsmom277, post: 330050, member: 4264"] I have to say, most of us with families at the level of dysfunction (isn't it sad that your story is so heartwrenching yet common????) will probably always wish it could be better, different, livable. Who wants to write their own family off completely? The thing I've learned with people as toxic as my family (and seems like yours from your explanation as well) is that there is no contact small enough to prevent more problems. I've learned the hard way that boundaries put in place by us to prevent more damage, are usually senseless as the other parties only see we are in contact and that is enough for them to weave their own brand of nasty into our worlds. I think if it were me, I'd simply click off the message as if it never was. Lock you in a hospital permanently? Take your child? Destroy your marriage???? That is literally everything valuable to an adult. Your safety and very life (taken by a hospital??), your offspring and your life partner. Those are things that are NOT to be messed with by others. We dont' choose the families that we are born to. We do choose our spouses and to have our own children. I'd protect that to the ends of the earth. I'm so sorry that they have creeped in under your radar after so much time. I'm betting there was family talk through the holidays, your name came up and thus you were on the sister in law's radar and she reached out to you. I'd remember she's chosen as her life mate, a man who would throw his own sister under the bus for favor with his parents. She might be nice as pie, but she is still attached for life, by choice, to a person who has harmed you and sounds like would again. [/QUOTE]
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