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Everyone "Stop" and take a minute
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 94593" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>I got this line fairly often from Travis, and less from Nichole but she'd say it too.</p><p></p><p>Boils down to frustration. And I usually dealt with it that way.</p><p></p><p>I'd tell my kids I had high expectations because I firmly believed, even if no one else did, that they could meet those expectations. But what truly counted was the effort. To try and fail is a learning experience. To never try at all is what I saw as a loser. (I probably didn't word that latter part right, but you get the idea)</p><p></p><p>Without those high expectations neither of my difficult children would've come as far as they have, or achieved the goals they have. They've had plenty of "failures". But they knew the only time I was ever disappointed was when they failed to put forth their best effort.</p><p></p><p>I do remember it taking alot of reinforcing that idea to both the difficult children during the years. Heck, even now at times.</p><p></p><p>I recall Travis being especially sad on xmas season. He eventually told me it was because he didn't think Santa would bring him anything but coal cuz he'd been so bad. I told him that if he'd done his best to be good, even if he didn't always manage it, Santa knew and it counted the same.</p><p></p><p>The attempt has always been important in our home.</p><p></p><p>The only thing it ever sort of backfired on me was with Travis driving. He wanted to TRY, make the attempt. And sadly we had to tell him no. It devastated him. Threw him into a emotional tailspin. But it was simply too dangerous to think about due to his vision loss. Took me a several years to convince him that a physical disability gave him no choice with driving.</p><p></p><p>Especially good topic!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 94593, member: 84"] I got this line fairly often from Travis, and less from Nichole but she'd say it too. Boils down to frustration. And I usually dealt with it that way. I'd tell my kids I had high expectations because I firmly believed, even if no one else did, that they could meet those expectations. But what truly counted was the effort. To try and fail is a learning experience. To never try at all is what I saw as a loser. (I probably didn't word that latter part right, but you get the idea) Without those high expectations neither of my difficult children would've come as far as they have, or achieved the goals they have. They've had plenty of "failures". But they knew the only time I was ever disappointed was when they failed to put forth their best effort. I do remember it taking alot of reinforcing that idea to both the difficult children during the years. Heck, even now at times. I recall Travis being especially sad on xmas season. He eventually told me it was because he didn't think Santa would bring him anything but coal cuz he'd been so bad. I told him that if he'd done his best to be good, even if he didn't always manage it, Santa knew and it counted the same. The attempt has always been important in our home. The only thing it ever sort of backfired on me was with Travis driving. He wanted to TRY, make the attempt. And sadly we had to tell him no. It devastated him. Threw him into a emotional tailspin. But it was simply too dangerous to think about due to his vision loss. Took me a several years to convince him that a physical disability gave him no choice with driving. Especially good topic! [/QUOTE]
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