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General Parenting
Everyone "Stop" and take a minute
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 94604" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>We've had to train ourselves out of using sarcasm, or at least explain it to difficult child 3. The smartest Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid will be badly misled by sarcasm, and it's used so much around them, especially at school (where they should know better).</p><p></p><p>Another thing - the way our kids are dealt with by others (school, in our case) can, if badly handled, teach them that punishment is inevitable, simply for who they are. The clearest example is from the highway school where difficult child 3 was transferred, so he could be safer from bullies.</p><p>A kid in the school playground was sassing him, calling him names like freak, weirdo, nutso, retard. difficult child 3 just stood there and said, "Are you going to hit me now?" This delivered with the expressionless Aspie face, made the other kid interpret this as a threat (as in, "I know you're going to try to hit me and if you do I will pound you so hard..." but in fact it wasn't. It was just difficult child 3 wanting the beating to be over and done with - because in his experience, first comes the name calling and then comes the hitting.</p><p>The other kid, to his credit, saw things getting out of hand and fetched a teacher. Luckily, the teacher was someone who had a bit of understanding and with careful questioning, worked out what was happening.</p><p></p><p>It's taken a lot of continual positive reinforcement for difficult child 3 to 'unlearn' this negative stuff. I already knew things had been bad for him; I never realised it had been THAT bad.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 94604, member: 1991"] We've had to train ourselves out of using sarcasm, or at least explain it to difficult child 3. The smartest Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) kid will be badly misled by sarcasm, and it's used so much around them, especially at school (where they should know better). Another thing - the way our kids are dealt with by others (school, in our case) can, if badly handled, teach them that punishment is inevitable, simply for who they are. The clearest example is from the highway school where difficult child 3 was transferred, so he could be safer from bullies. A kid in the school playground was sassing him, calling him names like freak, weirdo, nutso, retard. difficult child 3 just stood there and said, "Are you going to hit me now?" This delivered with the expressionless Aspie face, made the other kid interpret this as a threat (as in, "I know you're going to try to hit me and if you do I will pound you so hard..." but in fact it wasn't. It was just difficult child 3 wanting the beating to be over and done with - because in his experience, first comes the name calling and then comes the hitting. The other kid, to his credit, saw things getting out of hand and fetched a teacher. Luckily, the teacher was someone who had a bit of understanding and with careful questioning, worked out what was happening. It's taken a lot of continual positive reinforcement for difficult child 3 to 'unlearn' this negative stuff. I already knew things had been bad for him; I never realised it had been THAT bad. Marg [/QUOTE]
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