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Everyone "Stop" and take a minute
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 94678" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>I knew my kid was the odd man out - </p><p></p><p>A month before Christmas his behaviors dramatically improved. Everyone was wondering if it was new medications, the shadow in school and on and on. Of course no one gave difficult child any credit for improving HIS behaviors - it had to be external. (sigh) </p><p></p><p>The morning of Christmas we opened gifts, it was a small exchange and went quickly. difficult child got a PS2. It's all he wanted. It's almost all he got. </p><p></p><p>Two hours later? We were back to the tyranical-rex child. </p><p></p><p>EVERYONE then assumed (this is so funny) that difficult child must have held it together on his own in anticipation of "presents" and after the anticipation wore off, gifts were given he was his usual self. </p><p></p><p>-Um hello (tap on glass) everyone before said it was everything else making him behave and NOW all of a sudden because he didn't behave well it MUST be his behavior? (insert silent scream and try to herd everyone on the same page) </p><p></p><p>I cringed every time a doctor would do a medications change because difficult child would be in the room and hear "this should help you" or "We've had great success with this pill" = when it didn't work for us - difficult child would become more depressed. Now after 64 different pills? He refuses to take them, and I don't blame him - what works is HIM understanding he IS able to control his behavior and getting the CBT type of therapy long term is what will help him be successful. </p><p></p><p>So in answer to your question - do I think our kids anticipate things and set themselves up? Yes I do. Do I think it's preventable? Yes, but not unless you can effectively communicate to a difficult child that "it is okay to be angry if it's done appropriately" </p><p>THAT for us seems to be the long haul. </p><p></p><p>Hope this helps</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 94678, member: 4964"] I knew my kid was the odd man out - A month before Christmas his behaviors dramatically improved. Everyone was wondering if it was new medications, the shadow in school and on and on. Of course no one gave difficult child any credit for improving HIS behaviors - it had to be external. (sigh) The morning of Christmas we opened gifts, it was a small exchange and went quickly. difficult child got a PS2. It's all he wanted. It's almost all he got. Two hours later? We were back to the tyranical-rex child. EVERYONE then assumed (this is so funny) that difficult child must have held it together on his own in anticipation of "presents" and after the anticipation wore off, gifts were given he was his usual self. -Um hello (tap on glass) everyone before said it was everything else making him behave and NOW all of a sudden because he didn't behave well it MUST be his behavior? (insert silent scream and try to herd everyone on the same page) I cringed every time a doctor would do a medications change because difficult child would be in the room and hear "this should help you" or "We've had great success with this pill" = when it didn't work for us - difficult child would become more depressed. Now after 64 different pills? He refuses to take them, and I don't blame him - what works is HIM understanding he IS able to control his behavior and getting the CBT type of therapy long term is what will help him be successful. So in answer to your question - do I think our kids anticipate things and set themselves up? Yes I do. Do I think it's preventable? Yes, but not unless you can effectively communicate to a difficult child that "it is okay to be angry if it's done appropriately" THAT for us seems to be the long haul. Hope this helps Star [/QUOTE]
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