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Parent Emeritus
Evicting an Adult Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Pixie Dusted" data-source="post: 747395" data-attributes="member: 23670"><p>I've always gone with the idea that if I give my children money, even if they say they are borrowing or going to pay it back..... I do so freely and with no expectations attached. I don't want to build up resentments.</p><p></p><p>If they pay us back that's wonderful! If they don't then every birthday and Xmas gift they get is like $100 forgiven from what they owe! JK</p><p></p><p>With my adult children, I've done all I could since they were born and I know that they know how much I love them!</p><p></p><p>But I wont enable! I have a daughter who is an addict and has called us names, treated us terribly, etc. But I refused to give her one penny towards her addiction!</p><p>It's called tough love because it hurts!</p><p></p><p>She's in treatment now and has apologized and said she's so grateful that we didn't enable her, etc.</p><p></p><p>I pray she stays clean, and I use every second of her sobriety to again pound in her little head, how dearly and much we love her! In the hopes that if she falls off the wagon, she will remember those words.</p><p></p><p>Beta,</p><p></p><p>You did what you felt you needed to do for him. You should feel good about that, not resentful. You absolutely should take care of yourselves and not go on a nursing home! You've earned it. Regardless of what he did with the money, or how awful he has treated you. You did what you thought you should do to help.</p><p></p><p>We are responsible for the input, not the outcome.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Pixie Dusted, post: 747395, member: 23670"] I've always gone with the idea that if I give my children money, even if they say they are borrowing or going to pay it back..... I do so freely and with no expectations attached. I don't want to build up resentments. If they pay us back that's wonderful! If they don't then every birthday and Xmas gift they get is like $100 forgiven from what they owe! JK With my adult children, I've done all I could since they were born and I know that they know how much I love them! But I wont enable! I have a daughter who is an addict and has called us names, treated us terribly, etc. But I refused to give her one penny towards her addiction! It's called tough love because it hurts! She's in treatment now and has apologized and said she's so grateful that we didn't enable her, etc. I pray she stays clean, and I use every second of her sobriety to again pound in her little head, how dearly and much we love her! In the hopes that if she falls off the wagon, she will remember those words. Beta, You did what you felt you needed to do for him. You should feel good about that, not resentful. You absolutely should take care of yourselves and not go on a nursing home! You've earned it. Regardless of what he did with the money, or how awful he has treated you. You did what you thought you should do to help. We are responsible for the input, not the outcome. [/QUOTE]
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Evicting an Adult Child
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