Evidently CPS case closed

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by DammitJanet, Jun 22, 2014.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I simply dont understand what CPS is for. What in hell's bell's does it matter in the greater scheme of things what a house looks like if the parents are doing drugs and the kid is eating cereal half the month and oodles of noodles half the month? There are kids who are homeless and living in cars with no running water and they are lucky if the windows actually shut but CPS doesnt see that as an issue but a hole in the wall is some big deal.

    If I ran the country it would be parents who took drugs and used the household money to buy those drugs that should be looked at most closely. I mean I dont have a problem if someone wants to drink a beer after mowing the lawn or having a glass of wine with dinner. Or even smoking a joint from time to time but when the recreational drugs/alcohol take away from paying the family bills and cause kids to go hungry then that is a HUGE problem.

    Oh well, I have had it. I dont care what CPS says, I will not put up with carpola anymore. OH, and did you know that CPS never even contacted me...the landlord and owner of this home they are renting? Dont you think that should have been something like close to the top of their list to do? Make sure we even knew they were there!

    I am extremely upset over something Cory said to me Saturday night and I hung up on him. He has kept calling wanting to talk to me and I am refusing. Im going to send him a letter telling him that I am angry with him and why and that I dont want him to contact me again. He is to give Billy the rent money and he can bring it to me. Or give it to his father, I dont care. I dont want to see him again. He basically called me a liar and I wont take that from him. His life and his problems are not mine to solve anymore. I had the hardest time not going off after I hung up because Monkey was here and I didnt want to call her father every bad name in the book in front of her.

    Our CPS here isnt doing anything and one day some kid is going to get really hurt after they close a case and all hell is going to break loose.
     
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    They usually send a letter when the case is closed. When you do foster care, especially when the children are of different races, it is just par for the course than strangers call CPS on you and the worker comes out, sees that you are fostering, say, black kids or Native American kids, and pretty much just walk back out the door again and you do get an official notification that the case has been dropped.

    You know what? You don't need to get so angry at Cory that you call him names. Janet, you are good hearted and so much better than that. Why even bother? You want to hang up? Hang up. Don't get involved and tangled up in his life. Let him work it out. He has to be closing in on thirty by now and there is no reason for any adult child to talk to his mother that way, especially since you have done SO MUCH for him. Of course difficult children don't appreciate it, but we don't have to listen to their abuse.

    My strategy of quietly and gently hanging up on 36 each time he raises his voice is really working...lol. He was shocked at first, but now our phone calls are almost.....pleasant. He knows I won't put up with that crapola from him and that if wants to have a nice conversation with me, that's fine, but I'm not listening to abuse. Only took me 36 years...haha. But, really, it is so refreshing. Because it is so ingrained in him to get abusive, the very first sign of a loud, angry voice and *click* the call has terminated.

    One thing about difficult children: If you don't mean what you say and do what you say you'll do, they won't treat you any better. I have learned that slipping up one time is a mistake.

    I hope Cory one day learns to appreciate the wonderful mother and grandmother you are. Janet, your health doesn't allow you to let your grown kids affect your blood pressure. Selfishly, I think I think I speak for more than just me when I say we need you here and we love you and care.

    I hope you had a good time with Monkey. Sending you vibes of peace and serenity. You should not be called names by someone whom you have been so kind to.
     
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I didnt call him names. I wanted to. I said them in my mind. Then I went into my room and cried which did me absolutely no good since I was canning with jalapeno's and that meant all that steam just made my eyes burn.

    Im sure he has figured out something is going on since I am not answering the phone at all and when he calls I have other's tell him I am somewhere else.
     
  4. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Having been thru more CPS workers then I care to count; I'm glad they are gone. They use to have me cartwheeling thru so many flaming hoops to satisfy them, it was nothing but a distraction that took my attention away from where it should be - "what the kids need".

    It would have been nice if they could have offered them some parenting classes, I've yet to see young parents who didn't need them. Let's face it parenting is one of the most important jobs people are faced with yet they get very little training on how to actually do it.

    You need a license to drive a car, own a dog but any idiot too stupid to figure out birth control can be a parent (sigh) it's just not right.

    I know it makes you angry that CPS didn't wave a magic wand and fix everything but that's not what they do. If nothing else be glad got the walls patched and someone pointed out to them there is a level of expectation (housework etc.) when there is a child in the house. Hopefully it put enough fear into them that they straighten up a little bit.

    sending hugs and positive energy

    Nancy
     
  5. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah I guess at least my walls got patched though Tony did most of it. Im telling you, if it was only me they would have been out of luck.
     
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