evil mother in law strikes again

[amazeofgrace]

so S2BX has not called for 3 weeks, poor difficult child II is waiting faithfully by the cell phone every Wed. night and is devastated for the third week in a row!

I call S2BX's Mom this morning (aka "evil mother in law") to make sure all is ok. I get hit immediateley with how S2BX is upset about the whole "child support" mess, and how she just sent him another court notice that says they're going to freeze his bank account, and he has bills to pay (guess child support is not a priority) and then she hits me with "I guess you never told them where he was" (which I did) and i tell her once again that i did and I get "Yeah sure you did"

S2BX is also miserable because there is no AC or fans in the rehab and the heat has been so bad, again, tone of voice suggests this is my fault, I didn't tell him to go there!

Then of course she asks if my kids are going to my niece's graduation party, ummm, where they invited? Do I know when it is? And of course I mention difficult child II can go but difficult child I is on house arrest (apparantley my sister in law's have not told her yet) "well what did he do now?", she asks in her arrogant tone. I simply stated "Call your daughters" click

I had the world's largest knot in my tummy when I got off the phone.

 

[mstang67chic]

Eeeesh. What a witch with a capital B. I know you still have to deal with her but at least it won't (hopefully) be as much. I guess feeding her grandchildren isn't high on her priority list either. Nothing like using difficult child detaching skills on grown adults. No words of advice but sending hugs.

 

[Star*]

I PM'd you - I can't use language like I would use to describe your situation here - so I put it there.

AND I'M NOT.......in the corner......neener!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Also not in the corner...sending you a PM now...

 

[Star*]

I want a cookie for setting a good example for BBK. LOL.

 

[amazeofgrace]

Star here is your cookieLMAO you guys are too funny

and I wish a would mow down my
and then I would feel

 

[flutterbee]

Yep. Definitely use difficult child detaching skills. Her poor, pitiful son who is just a victim....makes me want to hurl.

 

[Marcie Mac]

You know, I hate when someone tries to make you feel bad over a big mess created over something you had no part in creating and people take the view someone has to be at fault so, hey, your now the punching bag cause it must be YOU. Blame couldn't possibly be put where it actually belongs....Ugggg

In the past few weeks I have had a metamorphis of my usual laid back sunny self. If your mother in law had started that stuff with me, I would have said wah, wah, wah and hung up the phone.

Your in a no win situation with mother in law and Dex who have their heads up their behinds and I really don't see them being extracted anytime soon.

Am so sorry for your difficult child waiting for a call that never comes - been there done that.

Marcie

 

[Hound dog]

Star and BBK you crack me up.

Amazed, I'd have been hard pressed under those circumstances to even be civil to the woman. And trust me, I can get creative when I get mad enough.

It sounds awful, but I'd let difficult child be devistated. This is between difficult child and Dad. S2bx is a grown man who can manage to call his child if he really wants to. Not YOUR responsibility. It sinks that you have to watch difficult child be heartbroken. But there is no reason to expose yourself to toxic mother in law trying to fix a situation s2bex doesn't seem to be wanting to fix.

(((hugs)))

 

[nvts]

Well, I guess he's a loser and she's his enabler. Now that we used the politically correct, rehab terminology, Kudos for you for not letting her lower yourself to her level.

Next time she calls tell her that if you feel in any way, shape or form that she's being disrespectful to you or your children, you will terminate the call (rather that her or s2bx).

Forewarned is fairwarned.

Scr$w her AND him. And explain to difficult child 2 that he could very well have lost phone priviledges and that could be why he's not calling. This keeps difficult child 2 from feeling rejected, but also instills "responsibility for your actions". I'd rather teach them something positive out of a crappy situation than let them feel bad about themselves unnecessarily.

Keep us up to date!

Beth

 

[WhymeMom?]

Next time she calls (and we all know she probably will) let her go thru her spiel and then ask......WHO IS THIS? When she replies just say DO I KNOW YOU? When she replies just say I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD TALK THAT WAY TO THE MOTHER OF YOUR GRANDCHILDREN........then say you must have the wrong number.......
If she calls back go thru all that again......
May get her to think she has the wrong number........

 

[witzend]

And explain to difficult child 2 that he could very well have lost phone priviledges and that could be why he's not calling. This keeps difficult child 2 from feeling rejected, but also instills "responsibility for your actions". I'd rather teach them something positive out of a crappy situation than let them feel bad about themselves unnecessarily.

Very good advice, Beth!

 

[Lothlorien]

Do you have caller ID? Don't answer the phone when she calls. You do not have to speak with her, at all and anything that you do say, she will twist it later to use against you when her perfect little son needs her to.

 

[TerryJ2]

Arrrgh.
I agree with-Loth.
And Beth.
Hugs.