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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 603953" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Barbara, I'm doing something I've only done perhaps once or twice before, I'm re-reading <u>Daring Greatly</u>........it has so much to offer and I am in the right frame of mind to receive that information right now. I've been so wrapped up in the drama of my daughter and my family for a few years now, that I have not been "daring greatly" and it feels as if life is calling me back in to the arena.............not sure exactly what that means, it's just a feeling at this point..........</p><p></p><p>When I was in the codependency recovery group and therapy, we often discussed <em>judgment</em> and the place that had in the world of mental illness and substance abuse. I always found those discussions so fascinating. Many years ago I attended a lecture on Spirituality and Buddhism. The speaker quoted a line from a book on Buddhism which I've always remembered, he said, "<em>the great way is open to those who have no preferences." </em>He said he had been pondering that for many years because it had so many layers of thought. I have now been pondering that for many years and this process with my daughter has brought me to a new understanding of that quote. Much like the 'maybe yes, maybe no' of the Sufi story............I ask myself, how real are my judgments, my preferences, my assessments, my evaluations? So much of it is learned, taught,........ what we end up just thinking because it's what we've always thought. Like that bumper sticker says, "don't believe everything you think." My difficult child broke all of that down for me..........I've had to change much of my own thinking and look at her with different eyes. Eyes not glazed over by my fear and judgment, angers and disappointments, sorrow and resentments............as you so aptly stated, oy fricken vey................what a ride.............</p><p></p><p>There is another quote, by Rumi-- </p><p><em></em></p><p><em>"out beyond ideas of wrongdoing</em></p><p><em>and rightdoing there is a field</em></p><p><em>I'll meet you there."</em></p><p><em></em></p><p>Perhaps that's the field where we will meet our daughters,.......... someday. </p><p><span style="color: #181818"><span style="font-family: 'georgia'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #181818"><span style="font-family: 'georgia'"></span></span><span style="color: #181818"><span style="font-family: 'georgia'"></span></span></p><p><span style="color: #181818"><span style="font-family: 'georgia'"></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 603953, member: 13542"] Barbara, I'm doing something I've only done perhaps once or twice before, I'm re-reading [U]Daring Greatly[/U]........it has so much to offer and I am in the right frame of mind to receive that information right now. I've been so wrapped up in the drama of my daughter and my family for a few years now, that I have not been "daring greatly" and it feels as if life is calling me back in to the arena.............not sure exactly what that means, it's just a feeling at this point.......... When I was in the codependency recovery group and therapy, we often discussed [I]judgment[/I] and the place that had in the world of mental illness and substance abuse. I always found those discussions so fascinating. Many years ago I attended a lecture on Spirituality and Buddhism. The speaker quoted a line from a book on Buddhism which I've always remembered, he said, "[I]the great way is open to those who have no preferences." [/I]He said he had been pondering that for many years because it had so many layers of thought. I have now been pondering that for many years and this process with my daughter has brought me to a new understanding of that quote. Much like the 'maybe yes, maybe no' of the Sufi story............I ask myself, how real are my judgments, my preferences, my assessments, my evaluations? So much of it is learned, taught,........ what we end up just thinking because it's what we've always thought. Like that bumper sticker says, "don't believe everything you think." My difficult child broke all of that down for me..........I've had to change much of my own thinking and look at her with different eyes. Eyes not glazed over by my fear and judgment, angers and disappointments, sorrow and resentments............as you so aptly stated, oy fricken vey................what a ride............. There is another quote, by Rumi-- [I] "out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field I'll meet you there." [/I] Perhaps that's the field where we will meet our daughters,.......... someday. [COLOR=#181818][FONT=georgia] [/FONT][/COLOR][COLOR=#181818][FONT=georgia] [/FONT][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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