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Exactly where he belongs...
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<blockquote data-quote="lovemysons" data-source="post: 446194" data-attributes="member: 3305"><p>Thank you ALL for the hugs care and prayers. </p><p></p><p>It is pretty ironic that this is where young difficult child ends up...4 yrs ago when oldest difficult child was in prison, young difficult child referred to his big brother as a loser, dumb a, etc. Young difficult child married as soon as he found out his wife was pregnant and then joined the Army shortly after. I know at that time he was trying to do the "right thing". He did not want to be anything like his brother...and yet here he is. </p><p></p><p>He and oldest difficult child are NOTHING alike. Oldest is outgoing, a salesman of sorts, charming, etc. Young difficult child is an introvert, a thinker...not a doer. But both are addicts. And so it goes...</p><p>I remember when young difficult child was little, I was reading in the newspaper that middle children are found in prison in the highest number. I remember being more concerned about young difficult child and his future. I spent more time on young difficult child as a child...Played with him more, nurtured more, took him to his own baseball or soccer games (for which husband and oldest were not involved) and just, well, concentrated more on young difficult child. </p><p></p><p>husband identifies more with oldest difficult child. I know this has always been a sore spot for young difficult child. But I could not force the bond...so I'd tried to be for young difficult child what husband could not. </p><p>husband did try and employ young difficult child a couple of yrs ago just like oldest...but young difficult child is NOT a strong worker, he was lazy on the job, brought alcohol to job site once and also pick fights with coworkers. husband could not keep him. Young difficult child really hasn't worked since. He has been "hospital hopping" for a few yrs now. The latest involving fractured back and herniated discs in his back...all the while seeking pain medications. </p><p> </p><p>Toughlovin...I have been to Al Anon in the past I know I need to go again. This will be very very hard on me. I am already having trouble sleeping and just feel stressed. </p><p></p><p>DDD...I'm pretty sure I have told young difficult child in the past that I could not go through it again. You are right...he will be very alone with his thoughts. I hope he will learn from this. </p><p></p><p>Lisa...Jail/prison visits are the worst on a mom. You reflect back on their little years over and over. You see pics of them around the house that remind you of "once upon a time" and wonder what you could have done differently...if only this if only that. It is just painful. </p><p></p><p>Janet...I think I will text you a picture of the windshield daughter in law sent to me. You can clearly see the magnitude of young difficult child's aggression. I asked daughter in law how the grandbabies reacted to this...She said they didn't even cry or seemed to be shocked. </p><p></p><p>Susie...I cannot go through that kind of panic again. I just have to believe that young difficult child is a survivor and that he can learn from this. Oldest difficult child has done it...surely young difficult child can too. We shall see. </p><p></p><p>Julie...Yep, he did have this coming. I hope he will be able to get the help he needs in jail too. medications, AA...and getting clean from all the pain medications he's been hooked on recently. He will likely see a Dr of sorts since he has the pacemaker and back injury. Love you. </p><p></p><p>Steely...I will try and remain strong. Young difficult child did this to himself and it is all out of my hands. The only thing I can do is accept and move on. I am glad that I was dxd with Bipolar and am on really good medications that help keep me emotionally stable now. But I still can't/won't go visit young difficult child...he will have to accept that this is part of his consequence too. </p><p></p><p>Mattsmom...Thank you for caring. I need that right now. husband is not always real tender with me...He is a doer and no amount of crisis/trauma from our sons stops him from moving, working, going about his business. He is just not affected the same way I am. </p><p></p><p>Hugs and Love back to you all. </p><p>LMS</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="lovemysons, post: 446194, member: 3305"] Thank you ALL for the hugs care and prayers. It is pretty ironic that this is where young difficult child ends up...4 yrs ago when oldest difficult child was in prison, young difficult child referred to his big brother as a loser, dumb a, etc. Young difficult child married as soon as he found out his wife was pregnant and then joined the Army shortly after. I know at that time he was trying to do the "right thing". He did not want to be anything like his brother...and yet here he is. He and oldest difficult child are NOTHING alike. Oldest is outgoing, a salesman of sorts, charming, etc. Young difficult child is an introvert, a thinker...not a doer. But both are addicts. And so it goes... I remember when young difficult child was little, I was reading in the newspaper that middle children are found in prison in the highest number. I remember being more concerned about young difficult child and his future. I spent more time on young difficult child as a child...Played with him more, nurtured more, took him to his own baseball or soccer games (for which husband and oldest were not involved) and just, well, concentrated more on young difficult child. husband identifies more with oldest difficult child. I know this has always been a sore spot for young difficult child. But I could not force the bond...so I'd tried to be for young difficult child what husband could not. husband did try and employ young difficult child a couple of yrs ago just like oldest...but young difficult child is NOT a strong worker, he was lazy on the job, brought alcohol to job site once and also pick fights with coworkers. husband could not keep him. Young difficult child really hasn't worked since. He has been "hospital hopping" for a few yrs now. The latest involving fractured back and herniated discs in his back...all the while seeking pain medications. Toughlovin...I have been to Al Anon in the past I know I need to go again. This will be very very hard on me. I am already having trouble sleeping and just feel stressed. DDD...I'm pretty sure I have told young difficult child in the past that I could not go through it again. You are right...he will be very alone with his thoughts. I hope he will learn from this. Lisa...Jail/prison visits are the worst on a mom. You reflect back on their little years over and over. You see pics of them around the house that remind you of "once upon a time" and wonder what you could have done differently...if only this if only that. It is just painful. Janet...I think I will text you a picture of the windshield daughter in law sent to me. You can clearly see the magnitude of young difficult child's aggression. I asked daughter in law how the grandbabies reacted to this...She said they didn't even cry or seemed to be shocked. Susie...I cannot go through that kind of panic again. I just have to believe that young difficult child is a survivor and that he can learn from this. Oldest difficult child has done it...surely young difficult child can too. We shall see. Julie...Yep, he did have this coming. I hope he will be able to get the help he needs in jail too. medications, AA...and getting clean from all the pain medications he's been hooked on recently. He will likely see a Dr of sorts since he has the pacemaker and back injury. Love you. Steely...I will try and remain strong. Young difficult child did this to himself and it is all out of my hands. The only thing I can do is accept and move on. I am glad that I was dxd with Bipolar and am on really good medications that help keep me emotionally stable now. But I still can't/won't go visit young difficult child...he will have to accept that this is part of his consequence too. Mattsmom...Thank you for caring. I need that right now. husband is not always real tender with me...He is a doer and no amount of crisis/trauma from our sons stops him from moving, working, going about his business. He is just not affected the same way I am. Hugs and Love back to you all. LMS [/QUOTE]
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