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Exhausted and Back to Square One
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 215909" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>Do you think this is scary? I think he's scary, and I haven't even told you about the picture of him with his head exploding, holding two knives with jagged edges and blood flying off, with his sister lying at his feet and him saying "jump on sister she's dead", and then on the other side of him a picture of his sister with the knife pointed at her, then a picture of me frowning, then a picture of his dad hanging upside down and the words, dad not boss, me boss. </p><p> </p><p>My husband does not find this scary even with his habit of taking weapons to school which he hasn't done since Feb 14, 08. And two therapists neither who have seen the picture think it's abnormal either. My husband tries to say, "Well, your kids play violent video games" and sees nothing different. Boys have played war games and hunting games since the beginning of time, INCLUDING MY HUSBAND, but very few kids have fantasies of killing their families.</p><p> </p><p>Most people I talk to find it scary, but the two therapists didn't. They said it was common. </p><p> </p><p>I find him scarier and scarier. And I think it's significant that two weeks after we found this picture, a picture of him jumping on his sister until she's dead, he accused me of jumping on his back three times (I'm 170 lbs, he's 70lbs) and then pulling him up by his hair. Fantasies and projection, you think?</p><p> </p><p>We've talked about the cameras. He has brought up a couple times to his dad to give him a secret camera or to plant cameras and recorders around the house and not tell me so he can catch other people in the act of doing things. Of course, a week later he was caught sneaking into his brother's room and I said, all a camera would do is catch you sneaking around. He looked startled and admitted it would catch him doing that. It didn't seem to bother him that he would be caught (he doesn't much have consequences and they don't worry him much), but he's sure that he'd catch others and he wanted to take it to school and secretly tape people giving him a hard day.</p><p> </p><p>Duh, buddy, your dad sent you to military school, he wants you to have a hard day. </p><p> </p><p>I'm just so discouraged about the head of this school wanting to do some home visits. I told my husband I don't like the idea, what's the purpose of them, we've done it before. </p><p> </p><p>He wants to do it, and is unhappy with me because I don't. I find it intrusive and insulting and anxiety provoking. ANd we've done it before, and nothing comes of it except, praise him, spend more time with him, give him a reward system, start all over. We've DONE that, it doesn't work. And no, we didn't do it wrong. WE are NOT the problem. This boy has the problem.</p><p> </p><p>But no...we must be scapegoating him <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p> </p><p>I'm so tired of this. My husband this maybe this time it will be different. He's unhappy with me because I don't want to, and I don't want to subject my kids to it and I don't want to take the time. Stepson consumes huge amounts of time and emotion and money, he has far more than his far share of what this family has to offer. I'm just sooo tired of it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 215909, member: 5169"] Do you think this is scary? I think he's scary, and I haven't even told you about the picture of him with his head exploding, holding two knives with jagged edges and blood flying off, with his sister lying at his feet and him saying "jump on sister she's dead", and then on the other side of him a picture of his sister with the knife pointed at her, then a picture of me frowning, then a picture of his dad hanging upside down and the words, dad not boss, me boss. My husband does not find this scary even with his habit of taking weapons to school which he hasn't done since Feb 14, 08. And two therapists neither who have seen the picture think it's abnormal either. My husband tries to say, "Well, your kids play violent video games" and sees nothing different. Boys have played war games and hunting games since the beginning of time, INCLUDING MY HUSBAND, but very few kids have fantasies of killing their families. Most people I talk to find it scary, but the two therapists didn't. They said it was common. I find him scarier and scarier. And I think it's significant that two weeks after we found this picture, a picture of him jumping on his sister until she's dead, he accused me of jumping on his back three times (I'm 170 lbs, he's 70lbs) and then pulling him up by his hair. Fantasies and projection, you think? We've talked about the cameras. He has brought up a couple times to his dad to give him a secret camera or to plant cameras and recorders around the house and not tell me so he can catch other people in the act of doing things. Of course, a week later he was caught sneaking into his brother's room and I said, all a camera would do is catch you sneaking around. He looked startled and admitted it would catch him doing that. It didn't seem to bother him that he would be caught (he doesn't much have consequences and they don't worry him much), but he's sure that he'd catch others and he wanted to take it to school and secretly tape people giving him a hard day. Duh, buddy, your dad sent you to military school, he wants you to have a hard day. I'm just so discouraged about the head of this school wanting to do some home visits. I told my husband I don't like the idea, what's the purpose of them, we've done it before. He wants to do it, and is unhappy with me because I don't. I find it intrusive and insulting and anxiety provoking. ANd we've done it before, and nothing comes of it except, praise him, spend more time with him, give him a reward system, start all over. We've DONE that, it doesn't work. And no, we didn't do it wrong. WE are NOT the problem. This boy has the problem. But no...we must be scapegoating him :frowny: I'm so tired of this. My husband this maybe this time it will be different. He's unhappy with me because I don't want to, and I don't want to subject my kids to it and I don't want to take the time. Stepson consumes huge amounts of time and emotion and money, he has far more than his far share of what this family has to offer. I'm just sooo tired of it. [/QUOTE]
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