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Exhausted and Back to Square One
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<blockquote data-quote="WSM" data-source="post: 215932" data-attributes="member: 5169"><p>The other kids are 19, 17, and 14, all about 6 feet, one gymnast, one football player, all very strong and not shy about speaking up. They aren't afraid of him.</p><p> </p><p>The girl is 8, she's not afraid of him, but she's suspicious of him. Her dad let her pick out some koolaid this weekend and she wanted to hide it so her brother wouldn't take it, like he took her dresses, books, uniforms, money, dolls, halloween costumes, bike, helmets, bookbags, etc.... But she's not afraid of him, but we also never leave them alone together.</p><p> </p><p>The dog is not afraid of him.</p><p> </p><p>He's not schizophrenic; he has an interest in friends. That supposedly rules out schizophrenia (altho he might develop it later in life). </p><p> </p><p>We have had trouble getting him fully evaluated. The major child hospital in So. Florida wouldn't evaluate him beyond if he was an immediate danger to himself or others because they wanted his mother's consent as well as my husband's. Didn't care that she's wandering the streets and he has full custody papers and was willing to let them talk to the GALs.</p><p> </p><p>The best mental health system in So Florida (Henderson) who actually got his mother stable for two years won't take him because we have insurance and they only take Medicaid. </p><p> </p><p>We can't afford residential military school; they run about $7 grand a month, a thousand dollars more or less. </p><p> </p><p>We wanted to put him in a nearby residential mental health facility where he'd come home on weekends, but they wouldn't take him; they said their program would 'frustrate' him. It was based on behavioral modification. The director was one of those who hinted that he was possibly personality disordered, but nothing could be diagnosis'ed at this point. </p><p> </p><p>Oh, and his judge died. Yep, an overweight 50 something man, just died. He had a parole officer who was actually monitoring him and was talking about consulting her supervisor about putting him in a 6 month residential facility. Then her phone got shut off and we never heard from her again. Her supervisor called and said she needed to close this case.</p><p> </p><p>He always falls through the cracks. Nobody wants to deal with it. He doesn't fall into any convenient catagory, there is overcrowding with kids who are acting out and tantruming, there are lots of older kids who seem more urgent, budgets are short, etc...</p><p> </p><p>So we tried the military school. THe state of FL pays for it because he's an ESE student. They were hard on him and after a month he's pretty much settled down and behaves there. He still pulls the poor me, they are so mean to me at home, people are trying to get him into trouble, he doesn't know how any of these things are happening. And they think it's manipulative, my husband assures me that they aren't being conned; but my guess is they aren't really sure.</p><p> </p><p>And now ANOTHER home visit. Not court ordered. Not because of CPS, but because the head of the school is...curious? Thinking to play therapist? I don't know.</p><p> </p><p>My husband and I go to therapy and deal with marital, family and kid issues. That's hard enough and I don't want some outsider coming in thinking she's going to heal our family. Last summer the camp associated with the school (whom he had completely fooled) told him it would all be solved it he gave lots of hugs and told us he loved us. It was a stupid, simple minded solution to a complex problem. The kid has been diagnosis'ed with Attachment Disorder: you don't order him to give hugs to people he doesn't like and doesn't want to me close to and make him LIE and say he loves them when that's not what he feels. </p><p> </p><p>So now there's discord between my husband and me because he wants to do this again, and I don't want to start all over and prove to yet another person (who has no more right to come into our house, judge and advise us than any of you do) that it's not us; that he has a serious problem.</p><p> </p><p>Again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WSM, post: 215932, member: 5169"] The other kids are 19, 17, and 14, all about 6 feet, one gymnast, one football player, all very strong and not shy about speaking up. They aren't afraid of him. The girl is 8, she's not afraid of him, but she's suspicious of him. Her dad let her pick out some koolaid this weekend and she wanted to hide it so her brother wouldn't take it, like he took her dresses, books, uniforms, money, dolls, halloween costumes, bike, helmets, bookbags, etc.... But she's not afraid of him, but we also never leave them alone together. The dog is not afraid of him. He's not schizophrenic; he has an interest in friends. That supposedly rules out schizophrenia (altho he might develop it later in life). We have had trouble getting him fully evaluated. The major child hospital in So. Florida wouldn't evaluate him beyond if he was an immediate danger to himself or others because they wanted his mother's consent as well as my husband's. Didn't care that she's wandering the streets and he has full custody papers and was willing to let them talk to the GALs. The best mental health system in So Florida (Henderson) who actually got his mother stable for two years won't take him because we have insurance and they only take Medicaid. We can't afford residential military school; they run about $7 grand a month, a thousand dollars more or less. We wanted to put him in a nearby residential mental health facility where he'd come home on weekends, but they wouldn't take him; they said their program would 'frustrate' him. It was based on behavioral modification. The director was one of those who hinted that he was possibly personality disordered, but nothing could be diagnosis'ed at this point. Oh, and his judge died. Yep, an overweight 50 something man, just died. He had a parole officer who was actually monitoring him and was talking about consulting her supervisor about putting him in a 6 month residential facility. Then her phone got shut off and we never heard from her again. Her supervisor called and said she needed to close this case. He always falls through the cracks. Nobody wants to deal with it. He doesn't fall into any convenient catagory, there is overcrowding with kids who are acting out and tantruming, there are lots of older kids who seem more urgent, budgets are short, etc... So we tried the military school. THe state of FL pays for it because he's an ESE student. They were hard on him and after a month he's pretty much settled down and behaves there. He still pulls the poor me, they are so mean to me at home, people are trying to get him into trouble, he doesn't know how any of these things are happening. And they think it's manipulative, my husband assures me that they aren't being conned; but my guess is they aren't really sure. And now ANOTHER home visit. Not court ordered. Not because of CPS, but because the head of the school is...curious? Thinking to play therapist? I don't know. My husband and I go to therapy and deal with marital, family and kid issues. That's hard enough and I don't want some outsider coming in thinking she's going to heal our family. Last summer the camp associated with the school (whom he had completely fooled) told him it would all be solved it he gave lots of hugs and told us he loved us. It was a stupid, simple minded solution to a complex problem. The kid has been diagnosis'ed with Attachment Disorder: you don't order him to give hugs to people he doesn't like and doesn't want to me close to and make him LIE and say he loves them when that's not what he feels. So now there's discord between my husband and me because he wants to do this again, and I don't want to start all over and prove to yet another person (who has no more right to come into our house, judge and advise us than any of you do) that it's not us; that he has a serious problem. Again. [/QUOTE]
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