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Expectations bleh
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<blockquote data-quote="JayPee" data-source="post: 754193" data-attributes="member: 23405"><p>So I'm sure you've heard this before. Enabling (among other things) is thinking that just this next one thing you will do for them (for the thousandth time) will finally be the "thing" that will put them on the road to success. This is NOT true.</p><p></p><p>The ONLY way that he could ever possibly learn is by being the change in the situation. He has to have a plan and be able to implement it, not you. How does this make him any better now if he's dumping all his responsibilities on you again? It doesn't. It just makes you feel obligated and worried he has no one to help him. I write this as therapy for myself. To pound it into my thick skull. </p><p></p><p>It's like they throw a pile of bricks at us while we stand there petrified of their demands and the fear sets in that they'll never change if we don't help. Again, if they don't change, we at least have to work on ourselves to be the change. Get stronger, pause, step away and re-set your emotions. We always want to eliminate any pain or suffering they are going through right away! All the while, they don't care if we drain all our funds and retirement money.</p><p></p><p>Stay strong.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JayPee, post: 754193, member: 23405"] So I'm sure you've heard this before. Enabling (among other things) is thinking that just this next one thing you will do for them (for the thousandth time) will finally be the "thing" that will put them on the road to success. This is NOT true. The ONLY way that he could ever possibly learn is by being the change in the situation. He has to have a plan and be able to implement it, not you. How does this make him any better now if he's dumping all his responsibilities on you again? It doesn't. It just makes you feel obligated and worried he has no one to help him. I write this as therapy for myself. To pound it into my thick skull. It's like they throw a pile of bricks at us while we stand there petrified of their demands and the fear sets in that they'll never change if we don't help. Again, if they don't change, we at least have to work on ourselves to be the change. Get stronger, pause, step away and re-set your emotions. We always want to eliminate any pain or suffering they are going through right away! All the while, they don't care if we drain all our funds and retirement money. Stay strong. [/QUOTE]
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