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Healthful Living / Natural Treatments
Expectations
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<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 112558"><p>This is a word that came up a lot with a therapist I used to see several years ago. I never really 'got' where she was coming from - or going - with this and I've thought about it a lot over the years. It seemed like every time I vented about this or that, she would come back and say, 'There's the expectations again.' I remember responding specifically one time, "Well, yeah. If someone says they're going to do something, I EXPECT them to do it.'</p><p></p><p>I got the feeling from her that we're not supposed to have expectations which, to me, seems unhealthy. Everyone has expectations: our employers, our kids, our spouses/significant others, our parents, ourselves, society.</p><p></p><p>However, it seems to me from what I've seen on the board that a lot of us become frustrated, angry and/or resentful when certain expectations we have - that we probably don't even think about as being 'expectations' - are not met.</p><p></p><p>So, in order to keep our own peace of mind, how do we deal with that? Do we lower expectations? (Not something I'm partial to.) Do we not have expectations? (Is that even possible?) Or is it that we don't verbalize our expectations and just take for granted that others know what they are? </p><p></p><p>I know I've been finding myself frustrated and resentful A LOT lately over how much others (namely my kids, but my mom, too) expect me to be able to do when physically I simply cannot.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 112558"] This is a word that came up a lot with a therapist I used to see several years ago. I never really 'got' where she was coming from - or going - with this and I've thought about it a lot over the years. It seemed like every time I vented about this or that, she would come back and say, 'There's the expectations again.' I remember responding specifically one time, "Well, yeah. If someone says they're going to do something, I EXPECT them to do it.' I got the feeling from her that we're not supposed to have expectations which, to me, seems unhealthy. Everyone has expectations: our employers, our kids, our spouses/significant others, our parents, ourselves, society. However, it seems to me from what I've seen on the board that a lot of us become frustrated, angry and/or resentful when certain expectations we have - that we probably don't even think about as being 'expectations' - are not met. So, in order to keep our own peace of mind, how do we deal with that? Do we lower expectations? (Not something I'm partial to.) Do we not have expectations? (Is that even possible?) Or is it that we don't verbalize our expectations and just take for granted that others know what they are? I know I've been finding myself frustrated and resentful A LOT lately over how much others (namely my kids, but my mom, too) expect me to be able to do when physically I simply cannot. [/QUOTE]
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