Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Healthful Living / Natural Treatments
Expectations
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="trinityroyal" data-source="post: 112816" data-attributes="member: 3907"><p>gcvmom, you make such an important point.</p><p>Saying "no" is a life skill, as far as I'm concerned, and it's one that a lot of us struggle with.</p><p></p><p>I think that expectations relate very closely to boundaries. We need to be able to draw that line that says, I can do this, this and this, but certainly not that. When people are used to you saying "yes" to everything, you will get lots of resistance the first time you say no, but people will get used to it.</p><p></p><p>It's a bit like having consistent, firm consequences for our difficult children. We need to ensure that we know our limits (not necessarily limitations, just limits), so that we can identify what the "no" points are. Then it becomes much easier to do.</p><p></p><p>I have a terrible habit of saying, "Yes, I can do that", which led to my having a breakdown at work last March (When I was leading a meeting, in front of 35 people). It was at that point that I realized I had to set limits or go crazy. With the help of my therapist, I have been working very hard to identify boundaries and figure out what I will say no to. When I know ahead of time, then it becomes much easier to say no when it comes up.</p><p></p><p>This alone has done wonders for my stress level. I'm much happier and more relaxed, and it's having a beneficial effect on everyone around me.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="trinityroyal, post: 112816, member: 3907"] gcvmom, you make such an important point. Saying "no" is a life skill, as far as I'm concerned, and it's one that a lot of us struggle with. I think that expectations relate very closely to boundaries. We need to be able to draw that line that says, I can do this, this and this, but certainly not that. When people are used to you saying "yes" to everything, you will get lots of resistance the first time you say no, but people will get used to it. It's a bit like having consistent, firm consequences for our difficult children. We need to ensure that we know our limits (not necessarily limitations, just limits), so that we can identify what the "no" points are. Then it becomes much easier to do. I have a terrible habit of saying, "Yes, I can do that", which led to my having a breakdown at work last March (When I was leading a meeting, in front of 35 people). It was at that point that I realized I had to set limits or go crazy. With the help of my therapist, I have been working very hard to identify boundaries and figure out what I will say no to. When I know ahead of time, then it becomes much easier to say no when it comes up. This alone has done wonders for my stress level. I'm much happier and more relaxed, and it's having a beneficial effect on everyone around me. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Healthful Living / Natural Treatments
Expectations
Top