Experience with home studies for adoption?

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by AllStressedOut, Oct 2, 2007.

  1. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Does anyone have experience with these? Any tips to offer? We're having our home study this Saturday.

    I'm cleaning and dusting, removing the cages and chains I keep my kids in etc. :smile:

    Any other suggestions?
     
  2. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Thet won't look very closely at your housecleaning at all. They will just want a quick look at the room the child will be in.

    Just be yourself, answer all questions honestly and ask as many questions as you can think of. If I were doing this over I would ask about post adoption services/subsidies to help pay for therapy or medical bills after the adoption. A lot depends on what type of adoption this is. Are you targeting a newborn? older child? special needs child? sibling group? Are you in favor of an open adoption? What are you willing to accept? Be clear on that.

    Are you prepared to add another difficult child to your family? Judging from your asignature you certainly have enough experience with this but I see you are stressed and tired already.

    More power to you.....there is no way I would ever embark on this road again after what we have been through.

    Nancy

     
  3. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Is this your first adoption? Just curious. 7 kids would put me under. Although I always wanted a house full of kids when I was growing up.

    Nancy gave good advice, especially the part about getting post adoption services if needed.
     
  4. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I'm adopting my 3 difficult children. They are already mine by marriage, but their bio-moms rights were terminated in April. Now that she can no longer appeal and we feel the boys are ready, we are moving forward with the adoption.

    I'm just not sure what to expect or what are the "I wish I knew then, what I know now" things are for others.
     
  5. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I have 6 kids, a dog and a cat. Yes, this is my first adoption. I'm adopting my husbands biological children, all 3 of my difficult children.
     
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    LOL@ the cages! You kill me!!

    :rofl:
     
  7. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I'd leave them BBK, but I'm afraid the social worker would frown on it.
     
  8. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    husband is difficult child's bio, and I adopted.

    The physical part of the home study they were primarily concerned with descent, safe, and sanitary issues.

    Kind of a funny. We live on a small farm. We have cattle and of course, a pond to water stock.

    difficult child was 5 at the time, and it was mentioned that if difficult child had been younger, we would have had to fence the pond. We had taken steps to get difficult child enrolled in swimming classes, because it was a concern to us also, but....couldn't help but to wonder how all the farmers and ranchers (past, present and future) would adapt to parenting if each was required to fence off the water supply. lol

    Urban meets rural is sometimes a cultural clash. lol
     
  9. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sheila</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The physical part of the home study they were primarily concerned with descent, safe, and sanitary issues.</div></div>

    Maybe I should consider stripping my boys bathroom down to studs. I'm sure the studs and insolation would be more sanitary than a bathroom shared by 5 boys. blech1!!

    So do they check out the entire house or just the kids room and living areas? Should I be concerned that PCs room looks like a tornado hit it?
     
  10. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well I understand now. In that case post adoption services do not apply. I think just be yourself and I'm sure that unless there wree glaring problems or you really did have cages and chains it will all go fine (don't laugh we had a case here where the adoptive parents did have cages for their kids so it does happen).

    In our case they did not look at easy child's room. They wanted to make sure we had a room set aside for the baby and that it was safe.

    They understand normal living conditions but I think you know if the conditions look unsanitary. Basically if you would raise an eyebrow if you saw it in someone else's house then they will too.

    Nancy
     
  11. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    No, no cages and chains here. Well, the dog kennel, but good luck getting her to move over so you can crawl in. Molly won't budge off her 4 inch doggy pillow for anyone. Even if you have a dog treat. Spoiled mutt.
     
  12. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Our whole house was inspected. "Inspected" is a bit strong -- but she did walk through the entire home -- including the master bath.

    She did peer into difficult child's closet, but I don't recall that she did in the other bedrooms.

    I suspect these type studies have different criteria depending on the State you live in and the individual's caseload.

    Because of our location, CPS had to hire someone specifically to come out to our home. Someone that does 20/day wouldn't likely have done such a thorough job in my opinion.
     
  13. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    I adopted one of my husband's and would adopt the other but she was already in care and they wouldn't let me (the plan is when she is 18 to still do it just to make it legal that I am mom). We didn't have to go through a home inspection when I did it. Good luck I am sure it will go fine.

    Beth
     
  14. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Since yours is more of a pro forma thing, I'm sure it will be a very general, quick check to see things are semi-clean and safe. With 6 kids, they're not going to expect spotless. They will want to make sure there are appropriate sleeping arrangements, sufficient (and healthy) food. That kind of thing.

    It's also a good time to ask any questions you might have. Even though it is a family adoption, it wouldn't hurt to find out what services are available -- free and paid for. The day may come when it will be handy to know what therapists are on a sliding scale or if there is a dentist around that will charge less, etc. Ask about any meetings for adoptive parents, step-parents, blended families. Anything you can think of that you foresee possibly needing the future in the way of support, meetings, etc.
     
  15. KFld

    KFld New Member

    We adopted our daughter 16 years ago. We did the homestudy and from what I can recall they mostly wanted to make sure the child was being provided with a healthy, safe, clean environment to live in, with loving parents and siblings. They want to see the real deal. I don't think you will have any problems.
     
  16. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    LOL @ loving siblings. So easy child punching difficult child is a bad thing? Siblings aren't always loving in the best scenarios. Our house is filled with lots of sibling rivalry, does that count? It shows they've bonded, thats for sure. They don't treat one boy different from the next, blood related or not.
     
  17. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I'm a day late and a dollar short, but since these are your husband's kids and you're blending the family, it should be a piece of cake.
    I cleaned like a maniac for our adoption home study, only to find that the social worker who came over had rheumatoid arthritis. She leaned on her cane, stood at the bottom of the stairs and pointed to the rooms to make sure she knew which was which, and then sat on the couch and just chatted the rest of the time.
    Cleanliness is great, but what they are looking for is really gross stuff, like you see on the news when people get arrested and their houses are condemned. Also, if you already have a relationship with-this person, they'll give you tips like, "You will have to add another screw to that railing so it's secure," but it won't prevent you from "passing" the home study.

    Try to relax. (Easier said than done, I know.)
     
  18. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    I'm doing the maniac cleaning this week. Today was my bedroom. Tomorrow will be laundry. Thank goodness chore day is Thursday, so for the most part the house will be clean.

    I just need to do some major overhauling of my two easy child boys room and my daughters room. Believe it or not, my difficult children are actually WAY cleaner than my PCs. They just have a bit of dirty laundry to pick up. I'm going to have to bring a shovel to overhaul PCs room.

    Maybe I should drop some bread crumbs along the way too in case I get lost.

    I'm trying to not sweat it all, but I've never done this before and I'm a tad fearful of the unknown.
     
  19. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Let me advice you not to have too clean a house. I remember our home study was looking for a kid friendly place...

    You know, it's okay to have handprints on the wall, track in dirt, clutter - the thing kids bring into the house.

    Our adoption SW told me that if I had had an immaculate house she would have turned & walked out of our home immediately. She's done it to other families & sent letters out later. Muttered something about a couple who had all white furniture, with white carpeting - basically all white. It was full of expensive artwork & vases. She just walked out.

    Not my house - on my best day the main floor of my home is acceptable for company. If you walk upstairs or downstairs, it's at your own risk. :nonono: :smile: :hypnosis:
     
  20. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    Oh no worries about immaculate! LOL

    My house, when company clean, still has board games piled up in the corner, cards in a heap, animals wandering around, the dog and cat wandering around with the other animals.

    My plan is just to let it look a little less cluttered than it usually is. My house is more kid friendly than adult friendly.

    I was just looking at the pen marks on the wall and thinking, hmmm, should I paint, naaaa, all houses with kids under 5 have pen marks, don't they? LOL
     
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