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Experienced moms: What would you do? (Long)
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 44635" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>It is really frustrating when you see a bully like P, get sanctioned by the school. A good friend of ours changed schools this year for her daughter because the bullying was institutionalised, endorsed and getting worse. Her daughter had been badly picked on via the peer support kids (great!) and the worst of the lot was later elected school captain and won a swag of awards for citizenship. This girl was also in difficult child 3's class when he was at the same school - My friend is right. But this bully is clever, she uses words more than physical stuff, and she knows how to wound. Maybe she'll grow out of it - she is in high school now- or maybe she will rise to the top, like pond scum. But one day, somewhere, she WILL learn that it is wrong.</p><p></p><p>Same with P.</p><p></p><p>I find it interesting that Ps mother was so ready to but your daughter (and you) loose as friends - methinks she protesteth too much. She's been down this road before, with people approaching her to tip her off about her daughter's behaviour. And if you think about it, her method of dealing with your news is similar tactics to her daughter's interactions - "If you say something I don't want to hear, you are not my friend."</p><p>She has just put conditions on your friendship - there are areas you are not permitted to go. This immediately takes a step back from true friendship, where you CAN tell a friend something like this and have them at least give you a hearing.</p><p></p><p>So now you know where P gets it from.</p><p></p><p>Walk away, you AND your daughter. You're both better off looking for friendship where you're going to find it, rather than where it's already conditional in unpleasant, dishonest ways.</p><p></p><p>A 'friend' like this is not going to be around when you're going through a tough time. I hope you never confided in her to any great extent. If you did, get ready for damage control NOW.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 44635, member: 1991"] It is really frustrating when you see a bully like P, get sanctioned by the school. A good friend of ours changed schools this year for her daughter because the bullying was institutionalised, endorsed and getting worse. Her daughter had been badly picked on via the peer support kids (great!) and the worst of the lot was later elected school captain and won a swag of awards for citizenship. This girl was also in difficult child 3's class when he was at the same school - My friend is right. But this bully is clever, she uses words more than physical stuff, and she knows how to wound. Maybe she'll grow out of it - she is in high school now- or maybe she will rise to the top, like pond scum. But one day, somewhere, she WILL learn that it is wrong. Same with P. I find it interesting that Ps mother was so ready to but your daughter (and you) loose as friends - methinks she protesteth too much. She's been down this road before, with people approaching her to tip her off about her daughter's behaviour. And if you think about it, her method of dealing with your news is similar tactics to her daughter's interactions - "If you say something I don't want to hear, you are not my friend." She has just put conditions on your friendship - there are areas you are not permitted to go. This immediately takes a step back from true friendship, where you CAN tell a friend something like this and have them at least give you a hearing. So now you know where P gets it from. Walk away, you AND your daughter. You're both better off looking for friendship where you're going to find it, rather than where it's already conditional in unpleasant, dishonest ways. A 'friend' like this is not going to be around when you're going through a tough time. I hope you never confided in her to any great extent. If you did, get ready for damage control NOW. Marg [/QUOTE]
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