difficult child called and told that one of his contract negotiations is having an issue the team wants to solve using mediation. Negotiations are in early stage but it could be a good opportunity (especially lots for me to like, less than two hour train trip from home, bigger city, longer term, good mental health resources in the city, positional coach who knows difficult child and whom difficult child knows and gets along with, you get the drift.) The problem is, that they have under contract a player difficult child has had several issues with. And other way around. Both have committed actual crimes against each other, but most, if not all of those have been expired already. difficult child's part of all that was more or less mediated soon after the fact, but transgressions of the other boy were not known to us at that time. difficult child has been guilty of petty theft and identity theft against this boy (though breaking the trust and unwritten honour code of team athletes was more the 'actual crime' in everyone's eyes.) He has been guilty of an assault of some degree (he did kick difficult child few times when he was in the ground and unable to defend himself, but didn't cause any serious injuries) and may or may have not been guilty of other things depending if he did have material from the incident on his own device and if he distributed that material. However his 'real crime' in this context is considered to be just leaving the actual 'incident' when it got too rough to his taste and not trying to stop it or defend difficult child. Just kicking difficult child around a bit is considered to be more or less understandable 'peer justice.' And more so, using the knowledge and material on what happened after he left against difficult child next year when they continued to be team mates to coerce difficult child to do things he didn't want and to ridicule and humiliate him. And not talking about these things and doing his responsibility in protecting a team mate in the latest after difficult child was caught stealing. Boys themselves are not too eager to go through it again and consider it finished deal already. They have also for example played tennis and gone clubbing together well after these incidents and consider to be in okay terms. However the team wants the mediation process to be done before they consider hiring difficult child. Mediating process could be good for difficult child, but I do have some concerns on what difficult child told us about this: * Timetable is unarguably difficult but it really seems bad for difficult child. * They want to use a psychologist with vast sports background as a mediator. To our knowledge he doesn't have mediating experience. * Due the timetable representation of difficult child will be a huge issue. And to be honest we have very little faith in difficult child being able to handle this on his own in the way, that would bring anything positive out of it. * Team really doesn't want outsiders of the sport involved and while I can see the reason, due the timetable it really works against difficult child Timetable is tight and the process would be done during the time difficult child will have huge troubles to get any adequate support for himself for the process. Unfortunately boys use the same agent so while he could be there if boys want it so, he certainly has conflict of interest. A lawyer we use is not only an outsider of the sports but also a woman and this is way too macho environment to get anything positive done by bringing outside legal representative who is woman nor the less. Taking mommy as a support person is out of question too. difficult child was told other boy's dad would be there, but difficult child doesn't want husband. He would consider father in law, but that would be snub to husband and also relieve cracks in our lines that I would really loathe to let happen in this type of situation. difficult child's sport psychiatric will be literally other side of the world all that month. difficult child's Mentor does have tv work in other country during the days team has given to difficult child. One of the days he is apparently free, but getting him here would require considerable difficulty, couple international flights and hours of other transportation to be there. He has told difficult child he is willing to do it, but it is quite a lot to ask. Him being also a coach, though right now doing tv work instead of full time coaching, could also be stepping toes of difficult child's possible new positional coach. Both guys are known to have huge egos and having quite a few rough edges. difficult child has already once been left in the middle between his Mentor and his then coach. Rescheduling doesn't seem possible and difficult child needs to choose from the dates given. While the person they want to be a mediator is certainly qualified psychiatric, he isn't experienced with the process. I really don't like that. However that could be something difficult child could have something to say and demand an experienced mediator who does this for living in criminal cases. That should be doable. Of course difficult child doesn't, again, seem to grasp possible pitfalls and would just 'get it done' and not put any thought into it. That never ends well. They also have indicated to difficult child that there would be a team representative in present (apparently their director of player personnel) and that too, doesn't sound good at all for me. However, I don't have any real relevant experience with mediating in this type of cases. I just know that my kid is likely to do very badly in representing himself and even worse with the outcome if he feels he was not heard or feels he was walked over. difficult child does have some time to give his answers or try to negotiate changes to these plans. While timetable is tight, it isn't right now but after end of the season (not that far from now though.) Or simply leave it and pursue his other negotiations. I booked us (me, husband and difficult child) a consultation with our lawyer and we will see how she feels about this, but I would like to hear experiences of mediation processes and what to take into an account.