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General Parenting
explosive anger......
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<blockquote data-quote="DaisyFace" data-source="post: 303385" data-attributes="member: 6546"><p>Jena--</p><p> </p><p>Speaking as the parent of an explosive 14 year old girl, I understand with the father did....and frankly, it is exactly what the therapists are advising us (whether I agree with it is another story). The therapists in our case are acting as if the angry outbursts are caused by adults being unreasonable (raising our voice or yelling, making demands when she is not ready, expecting her to be more mature, etc)...and so when the child becomes angry, we have been advised to give her all kinds of space and calm her down and not to punish her for being angry.</p><p> </p><p>By being a reasonable person and reprimanding the 14-year-old for yelling at the other children, you set off her anger. The father could either escalate the situation (which would likely have resulted in a very scary and violent rage), or he could try to calm her....which it sounds like he did.</p><p> </p><p>Life with a child who has these angry outbursts can be very stressful...</p><p> </p><p>My advice would be (believe it or not), to see if you could get involved with some family counseling sessions with this girl's therapist. It could help if the therapist navigated a course for your new family which included appropriate boundaries and rules for respecting new family members....and how it should be handled if those boundaries are crossed.</p><p> </p><p>Setting up some new rules might go a long way to avert future misunderstandings.</p><p> </p><p>Best,</p><p> </p><p>--DaisyFace</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DaisyFace, post: 303385, member: 6546"] Jena-- Speaking as the parent of an explosive 14 year old girl, I understand with the father did....and frankly, it is exactly what the therapists are advising us (whether I agree with it is another story). The therapists in our case are acting as if the angry outbursts are caused by adults being unreasonable (raising our voice or yelling, making demands when she is not ready, expecting her to be more mature, etc)...and so when the child becomes angry, we have been advised to give her all kinds of space and calm her down and not to punish her for being angry. By being a reasonable person and reprimanding the 14-year-old for yelling at the other children, you set off her anger. The father could either escalate the situation (which would likely have resulted in a very scary and violent rage), or he could try to calm her....which it sounds like he did. Life with a child who has these angry outbursts can be very stressful... My advice would be (believe it or not), to see if you could get involved with some family counseling sessions with this girl's therapist. It could help if the therapist navigated a course for your new family which included appropriate boundaries and rules for respecting new family members....and how it should be handled if those boundaries are crossed. Setting up some new rules might go a long way to avert future misunderstandings. Best, --DaisyFace [/QUOTE]
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