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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 606609" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>I'm not sure I agree with this (with respect!), MWM. The whole point of "The Explosive Child" is that parents CAN teach their children some of these skills, and need to be doing so. Those skills then obviously transfer over to other situations.</p><p>We expect so much of professionals and outsiders and really that's not always realistic. I don't think J has ever been really helped by any of the various professionals he's seen. I don't mean that ungratefully or in a spirit of complaint. I may still try to get such help for J here - there's not much of it, but there's a bit - but I don't see it as the magic key, the be all and end all. What happens with me is far more important. Unfortunately, in a way, because I might not be up to the task particularly... but there is no choice. </p><p>On the other hand, I totally agree with you about J needing to learn to control his behaviour in public. Of course. Absolutely. For everyone's sake. But this ex-friend is ruthless and brutal with her own child in a way I have never been comfortable with and perhaps somewhere I am relieved that she extends the same lack of compassion to J because it means we can suspend the friendship. Sometimes it's like that, I think... there is a natural ending to friendships. I don't expect everyone to regard J as some little darling but I do expect my friends to have some understanding of his differences and difficulties.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 606609, member: 11227"] I'm not sure I agree with this (with respect!), MWM. The whole point of "The Explosive Child" is that parents CAN teach their children some of these skills, and need to be doing so. Those skills then obviously transfer over to other situations. We expect so much of professionals and outsiders and really that's not always realistic. I don't think J has ever been really helped by any of the various professionals he's seen. I don't mean that ungratefully or in a spirit of complaint. I may still try to get such help for J here - there's not much of it, but there's a bit - but I don't see it as the magic key, the be all and end all. What happens with me is far more important. Unfortunately, in a way, because I might not be up to the task particularly... but there is no choice. On the other hand, I totally agree with you about J needing to learn to control his behaviour in public. Of course. Absolutely. For everyone's sake. But this ex-friend is ruthless and brutal with her own child in a way I have never been comfortable with and perhaps somewhere I am relieved that she extends the same lack of compassion to J because it means we can suspend the friendship. Sometimes it's like that, I think... there is a natural ending to friendships. I don't expect everyone to regard J as some little darling but I do expect my friends to have some understanding of his differences and difficulties. [/QUOTE]
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