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<blockquote data-quote="HereWeGoAgain" data-source="post: 78250" data-attributes="member: 3485"><p>Hi Skylark, I think I understand what you feel when you say "I don't know how to love her". I think we all do to some extent. We love our kids but it seems to get submerged under the resentment at how they have thrown away our love, have no clue about what they've done -- using every good thing we've given them to self-destruct and responding to the lessons we try, out of love, to teach them with hateful and spiteful words and actions and more self-destruction. Then we feel bad for resenting them so when we are supposed to love them. You are not alone. Detachment is the only way to stop the cycle, I think. I'm still working on detachment myself, I need to practice it a lot better than I do, but I believe it's true that we have to stop letting their bad decisions be in control of our ability to love them. If that makes any sense.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HereWeGoAgain, post: 78250, member: 3485"] Hi Skylark, I think I understand what you feel when you say "I don't know how to love her". I think we all do to some extent. We love our kids but it seems to get submerged under the resentment at how they have thrown away our love, have no clue about what they've done -- using every good thing we've given them to self-destruct and responding to the lessons we try, out of love, to teach them with hateful and spiteful words and actions and more self-destruction. Then we feel bad for resenting them so when we are supposed to love them. You are not alone. Detachment is the only way to stop the cycle, I think. I'm still working on detachment myself, I need to practice it a lot better than I do, but I believe it's true that we have to stop letting their bad decisions be in control of our ability to love them. If that makes any sense. [/QUOTE]
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