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<blockquote data-quote="AppleCori" data-source="post: 701802" data-attributes="member: 16024"><p>Hi, SOM</p><p></p><p>Glad to hear that your son is in no way violent!</p><p></p><p>Some of our young men (and women) are, so I just thought I would ask.</p><p></p><p>There is really no easy way to tell someone something that they don't want to hear, when that person gets angry and flies off the handle whenever he is told something that he doesn't want to hear.</p><p></p><p>That is not an adult way of handling things. I presume he can control himself when he wants to, since he has been able to keep a job for quite a while. This is a good thing!</p><p></p><p>If it were me, I would decide what I want to have happen and how to go about it, then sit with him somewhere and tell him that we need to have a talk about the future.</p><p></p><p>Lay out the requirements, like how he needs to give you X amount of money from his paycheck, which will go into savings for him, and in X numbers of months, he should have enough money to rent a place and turn on utilities. Let him know that you are proud of him for moving forward in his life. This is not a punishment, but a new season of life for him. He can't stay on that cusp of manhood and not step on out toward it.</p><p></p><p>You need to be firm in your resolve that it is time to go. No more excuses for him, which is all that other stuff really is. He is allowing the excuses to keep him from moving forward, but the real reason is fear of growing up. Don't allow him to stay stuck. He will never mature as long as he lives like a child.</p><p></p><p>Apple</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AppleCori, post: 701802, member: 16024"] Hi, SOM Glad to hear that your son is in no way violent! Some of our young men (and women) are, so I just thought I would ask. There is really no easy way to tell someone something that they don't want to hear, when that person gets angry and flies off the handle whenever he is told something that he doesn't want to hear. That is not an adult way of handling things. I presume he can control himself when he wants to, since he has been able to keep a job for quite a while. This is a good thing! If it were me, I would decide what I want to have happen and how to go about it, then sit with him somewhere and tell him that we need to have a talk about the future. Lay out the requirements, like how he needs to give you X amount of money from his paycheck, which will go into savings for him, and in X numbers of months, he should have enough money to rent a place and turn on utilities. Let him know that you are proud of him for moving forward in his life. This is not a punishment, but a new season of life for him. He can't stay on that cusp of manhood and not step on out toward it. You need to be firm in your resolve that it is time to go. No more excuses for him, which is all that other stuff really is. He is allowing the excuses to keep him from moving forward, but the real reason is fear of growing up. Don't allow him to stay stuck. He will never mature as long as he lives like a child. Apple [/QUOTE]
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