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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 618941" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I understand that not everyone agrees with my suggestions. We all know that "addicts and addicts" and they need to take ownership of the problems they have caused. on the other hand, lol, just each of us has different strengths and weaknesses so do the difficult children. Each of us has to draw our own line in the sand. Most agree that giving money is not a healthy choice, opening our homes again is not usually motivating, and violence is a total deal breaker.</p><p></p><p>BUT an 18 year old who made good progress and then relapsed is not the same as a 30 year old who has never tried. in my humble opinion providing a list of specific choices passes the ball back to the user. Some of our difficult children are not blessed with executive functioning. Where I live there really are few public phones and even fewer telephone books. It takes alot of patience and note taking to identify the programs and/or organizations who are worthwhile. If a sober adult calls for information (and the patience to be put on hold, transferred, etc) the info gathered will be more comprehensive than if a young man on drugs tries to get valuable leads. </p><p></p><p>Like the old saying goes "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink", I think a parent can spend a day gathering info so the difficult child has available reliable leads "to the water" and not be considered an enabler. Heck we all contribute time to friends and neighbors who are sick with-o a second thought. In this teens case I am genuinely hoping he will soon be ready to give it a try again and "maybe" drink in the lessons of sober living. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 618941, member: 35"] I understand that not everyone agrees with my suggestions. We all know that "addicts and addicts" and they need to take ownership of the problems they have caused. on the other hand, lol, just each of us has different strengths and weaknesses so do the difficult children. Each of us has to draw our own line in the sand. Most agree that giving money is not a healthy choice, opening our homes again is not usually motivating, and violence is a total deal breaker. BUT an 18 year old who made good progress and then relapsed is not the same as a 30 year old who has never tried. in my humble opinion providing a list of specific choices passes the ball back to the user. Some of our difficult children are not blessed with executive functioning. Where I live there really are few public phones and even fewer telephone books. It takes alot of patience and note taking to identify the programs and/or organizations who are worthwhile. If a sober adult calls for information (and the patience to be put on hold, transferred, etc) the info gathered will be more comprehensive than if a young man on drugs tries to get valuable leads. Like the old saying goes "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink", I think a parent can spend a day gathering info so the difficult child has available reliable leads "to the water" and not be considered an enabler. Heck we all contribute time to friends and neighbors who are sick with-o a second thought. In this teens case I am genuinely hoping he will soon be ready to give it a try again and "maybe" drink in the lessons of sober living. DDD [/QUOTE]
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