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Falling Apart
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 618901" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Phoebe, I am so sorry. I believe in my heart you made the right decision. I think we have to certainly cut off the money and allow natural consequences to reign. But that doesn't mean it will feel good. Each one of us here has asked all the same questions of ourselves under similar circumstances, it is scary and weird and feels pretty bad to let go like that when it seems they need so much. Detachment is hard.</p><p></p><p>You may find the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here of interest. It will help you identify yourself in relationship to your son and enabling.</p><p></p><p>It is very important that you get support now. I hope you can find a 12 step group, a counselor, therapist, parent group, family anonymous...............a place you can receive not only support, but understanding and compassion, along with tools to help you learn detachment.</p><p></p><p>I know how much this hurts your heart and how much it scares you too. Often we parents have to go through that in order to stop the enabling and allow our kids to make their own choices and face their own consequences.</p><p></p><p>It does help to post your fears and concerns here, we all understand and can offer you empathy and a good ear.</p><p>I'm glad you're here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 618901, member: 13542"] Phoebe, I am so sorry. I believe in my heart you made the right decision. I think we have to certainly cut off the money and allow natural consequences to reign. But that doesn't mean it will feel good. Each one of us here has asked all the same questions of ourselves under similar circumstances, it is scary and weird and feels pretty bad to let go like that when it seems they need so much. Detachment is hard. You may find the article on detachment at the bottom of my post here of interest. It will help you identify yourself in relationship to your son and enabling. It is very important that you get support now. I hope you can find a 12 step group, a counselor, therapist, parent group, family anonymous...............a place you can receive not only support, but understanding and compassion, along with tools to help you learn detachment. I know how much this hurts your heart and how much it scares you too. Often we parents have to go through that in order to stop the enabling and allow our kids to make their own choices and face their own consequences. It does help to post your fears and concerns here, we all understand and can offer you empathy and a good ear. I'm glad you're here. [/QUOTE]
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