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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 663024" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The thought that the woman killed the dog so that you would not get it just entered my mind. I wish it would leave.</p><p></p><p>I forget how old your son is, but I do not think now is the time to have that conversation. Your son is witnessing what happened with the dog. You said your peace to him about that event. </p><p></p><p>For him to listen to and take to heart any conversation about his upbringing and experience with his father, I believe he would have to initiate it. </p><p></p><p>Right now he is being defensive, I think. He would not hear you and could become angry.</p><p></p><p>If the woman deliberately killed that dog, and we seem to think she did, there is already present enough objective information for your son to act on, and get out of the relationship. If he wants to.</p><p></p><p>If he does not, there is something within him that is keeping him there. If that is the case only he can work it out.</p><p></p><p>You will have to learn how to deal with your own sense of guilt and fear, yourself. </p><p></p><p>Perhaps others will think differently but I think the dynamics of your son's childhood are no longer something that is your responsibility to handle or to broach to your son, unless he puts the topic on the table and asks you. If he were to tell you he is suffering in relationships it might be appropriate to mention the possibility of therapy to deal with the experience of abuse. Barring those types of direct conversations, I think you should say nothing.</p><p></p><p>His past is his responsibility to deal with, now. Your past is yours to deal with, including your feelings about the past of your son with you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 663024, member: 18958"] The thought that the woman killed the dog so that you would not get it just entered my mind. I wish it would leave. I forget how old your son is, but I do not think now is the time to have that conversation. Your son is witnessing what happened with the dog. You said your peace to him about that event. For him to listen to and take to heart any conversation about his upbringing and experience with his father, I believe he would have to initiate it. Right now he is being defensive, I think. He would not hear you and could become angry. If the woman deliberately killed that dog, and we seem to think she did, there is already present enough objective information for your son to act on, and get out of the relationship. If he wants to. If he does not, there is something within him that is keeping him there. If that is the case only he can work it out. You will have to learn how to deal with your own sense of guilt and fear, yourself. Perhaps others will think differently but I think the dynamics of your son's childhood are no longer something that is your responsibility to handle or to broach to your son, unless he puts the topic on the table and asks you. If he were to tell you he is suffering in relationships it might be appropriate to mention the possibility of therapy to deal with the experience of abuse. Barring those types of direct conversations, I think you should say nothing. His past is his responsibility to deal with, now. Your past is yours to deal with, including your feelings about the past of your son with you. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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