Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663190" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>As badly as my mother treated me, specific by the way to ME, I know she was damaged herself. I never doubted that. She never got her own mother's voice "you have brains in your feet" out of her head. She never stopped being sad that her mother favored her brother and was bold about her favortism. My grandmother was married to a man who did anything my grandmother wanted, said little, and worshipped her. My mother saw this and thought that this was how a good husband behaves. My father was so different from that that she had less tolerance for him than others may have. She told me "Always make sure the man loves you more than you love him." No matter how she claims he abused her, and sometimes he was verbally abusive as was she to him, he loved her way more that she loved him. </p><p></p><p>You know what is sad? My only memory of my grandfather, who came over on Saturdays with my grandmother, is him sitting watching TV and driving us places because Grandma didn't drive. He barely spoke. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, back to Mother. I am able to look back and see why she did what she did. What I can't forgive is that she was well aware of how favoritism hurts and did it anyway. Repeated the entire cycle again. Deliberately. </p><p></p><p>She was creative like me and could be funny, but it is hard to think of much to admire about her in my eyes. She had no career. She was not a good mother and the family is and was a wreck. She had no friends at all until her very late years when she joined a line dancing group (she did love to dance). She was angry and bitter toward her mother, in some way, until the end. I witnessed her anger in my grandmothers nursing home room, the one she died in. Mother was berating her for favorite her father. So it went on for that long and she could not even control herself when my grandmother was that sick. I will never forget that.</p><p></p><p>My mother, on the other hand, was overly kind and submissive even to her golden people. She had a few of them: my brother, her brother that my grandmother favored, and her boyfriend that married an illegal alien who wanted to be an American citizen...she thought all of them were impeccable people who were brilliant, less so of the boyfriend, I believe. But she told me all the time "He never went to college, but he's brilliant! He knows so much!"</p><p></p><p>Well, I never went to college, but I'm pretty smart too, Mom. I also read so much. And I would never have been foolish enough to have married an illegal alien who didn't love me because I felt sorry for him...just so he could get a green card. I believe the lady was from Thailand or some Asian country. Copa, this is not a slap at you and M as this is nothing like your relationship. </p><p></p><p>He was a nice guy, except for that, I guess.</p><p></p><p>I would not want to be anything like my mother. I would not want to have duplicated her life. </p><p></p><p>Still...flaws and all, I loved her until I absolutely couldn't anymore. When she slapped me from the grave. That was so hurtful and mean...it died. Just.Like.That.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663190, member: 1550"] As badly as my mother treated me, specific by the way to ME, I know she was damaged herself. I never doubted that. She never got her own mother's voice "you have brains in your feet" out of her head. She never stopped being sad that her mother favored her brother and was bold about her favortism. My grandmother was married to a man who did anything my grandmother wanted, said little, and worshipped her. My mother saw this and thought that this was how a good husband behaves. My father was so different from that that she had less tolerance for him than others may have. She told me "Always make sure the man loves you more than you love him." No matter how she claims he abused her, and sometimes he was verbally abusive as was she to him, he loved her way more that she loved him. You know what is sad? My only memory of my grandfather, who came over on Saturdays with my grandmother, is him sitting watching TV and driving us places because Grandma didn't drive. He barely spoke. Anyway, back to Mother. I am able to look back and see why she did what she did. What I can't forgive is that she was well aware of how favoritism hurts and did it anyway. Repeated the entire cycle again. Deliberately. She was creative like me and could be funny, but it is hard to think of much to admire about her in my eyes. She had no career. She was not a good mother and the family is and was a wreck. She had no friends at all until her very late years when she joined a line dancing group (she did love to dance). She was angry and bitter toward her mother, in some way, until the end. I witnessed her anger in my grandmothers nursing home room, the one she died in. Mother was berating her for favorite her father. So it went on for that long and she could not even control herself when my grandmother was that sick. I will never forget that. My mother, on the other hand, was overly kind and submissive even to her golden people. She had a few of them: my brother, her brother that my grandmother favored, and her boyfriend that married an illegal alien who wanted to be an American citizen...she thought all of them were impeccable people who were brilliant, less so of the boyfriend, I believe. But she told me all the time "He never went to college, but he's brilliant! He knows so much!" Well, I never went to college, but I'm pretty smart too, Mom. I also read so much. And I would never have been foolish enough to have married an illegal alien who didn't love me because I felt sorry for him...just so he could get a green card. I believe the lady was from Thailand or some Asian country. Copa, this is not a slap at you and M as this is nothing like your relationship. He was a nice guy, except for that, I guess. I would not want to be anything like my mother. I would not want to have duplicated her life. Still...flaws and all, I loved her until I absolutely couldn't anymore. When she slapped me from the grave. That was so hurtful and mean...it died. Just.Like.That. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
Top