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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 663694" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>We chose love. They did not. That choice was as readily available to them as it was to us. It is a choice they could make today, but either they find themselves incapable or they enjoy finally hating us with such an intensity of verve and vigor at long last that they.will.never. stop. until we are destroyed. I know everyone says we felt so badly about ourselves that we were willing to take anything just to be near them, just to have an identity, just to claim that, like everyone else, we had a mom or a sister, too.</p><p></p><p>That may not be true.</p><p></p><p>In secret, that Phil Collins song is <em>just</em> how I feel about watching what my mom did to my brother. I do believe my mom loved me in her way. But her way is not acceptable to me, now. In fact, that Phil Collins song is <em>just </em>how I feel about all of them, if the truth be told, for how they behave, for how they've always behaved but especially, for the way they've behaved since my father's death.</p><p></p><p>How ripely disgusting; how unbelievably shameful a thing this has been. Like a cluster f*** of great intricacy and unerring precision, not an orifice overlooked.</p><p></p><p>You guys?</p><p></p><p>I never said that.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p><p></p><p>Well, okay. I did say it. But why would they choose what they are doing? I know I said I got it now...but I truly don't. Maybe we are the fortunate ones, after all. Who would we be today, had we chosen hatred like that?</p><p></p><p>Gratitude, instead of that feeling of failure. Instead of that feeling that none of us knew any better, and that I have to try harder.</p><p></p><p>I tried harder long enough.</p><p></p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]AbBr2bgAbcM[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p>:O)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 663694, member: 17461"] We chose love. They did not. That choice was as readily available to them as it was to us. It is a choice they could make today, but either they find themselves incapable or they enjoy finally hating us with such an intensity of verve and vigor at long last that they.will.never. stop. until we are destroyed. I know everyone says we felt so badly about ourselves that we were willing to take anything just to be near them, just to have an identity, just to claim that, like everyone else, we had a mom or a sister, too. That may not be true. In secret, that Phil Collins song is [I]just[/I] how I feel about watching what my mom did to my brother. I do believe my mom loved me in her way. But her way is not acceptable to me, now. In fact, that Phil Collins song is [I]just [/I]how I feel about all of them, if the truth be told, for how they behave, for how they've always behaved but especially, for the way they've behaved since my father's death. How ripely disgusting; how unbelievably shameful a thing this has been. Like a cluster f*** of great intricacy and unerring precision, not an orifice overlooked. You guys? I never said that. Cedar Well, okay. I did say it. But why would they choose what they are doing? I know I said I got it now...but I truly don't. Maybe we are the fortunate ones, after all. Who would we be today, had we chosen hatred like that? Gratitude, instead of that feeling of failure. Instead of that feeling that none of us knew any better, and that I have to try harder. I tried harder long enough. [MEDIA=youtube]AbBr2bgAbcM[/MEDIA] :O) [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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