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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663710" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Oh, Cedar.</p><p></p><p>There is a world of creativity and intelligence and wasted potential on this entire forum. It is heartbreaking. </p><p></p><p>Copa, I figured your son had those qualities...at least was very smart and capable of having a wonderful life. </p><p></p><p>But the world is full of late developers and there is still hope. Many of our children who sought drugs out start to straighten out and get their lives together at your son's age and even later. It retards emotional development. It takes time. It can happen. All it takes is a change of direction by the adult child and we can never guess when that will happen.</p><p></p><p>Copa,my daughter was not showing any signs of changing. We had just tossed her out and she called her brother (Goneboy, whom she was once so close to) to beg him to pick her up and let her live with him. He had tenants in his house by then (real leases...the kid always a head for business) and he only had his basement for her, but he drove up from Illinois to get her, however he had a list of rules as long as a roll of toilet paper and she never listened to us so I exected him to get tired of her fast, although I hoped he didn't. I really didn't want her on the street. </p><p></p><p>In his house, for whatever reason, maybe her own desire not to be homeless, she listened to his rules and got clean with her new boyfriend helping her. She did not tell us this was her intention. She didn't use services. She just did it and quit cigarette smoking along with it. She told us afterward and we thought "Sure. Prove it." She did. </p><p></p><p>In the end, Goneboy did throw her out because he is a very religious Christian who did not believe in sex before marriage and he knew they were (daughter and boyfriend) doing the dead and they had an ugly yelling match, which may have been the beginning of the end. Princess's boyfriend never forgot that he yelled, "You're just using each other! You will NEVER last."He was wrong, but I am grateful he stepped up for her one last time and possibly giving her sanctuary and strong rules that she felt she had to follow saved her life.</p><p></p><p>Nobody saw the quit coming.</p><p></p><p>We never know what is going on in their minds.</p><p></p><p>When asked now, she will say, "I just got tired of the crazy drug life. I wanted to be normal."</p><p></p><p>Where there is life, Copa, there is hope. Your son is still alive. There is hope for him. And it may just happen out of the blue. </p><p></p><p>Child of Mine and ToughLovin' did not expect their kids to turn around. They are. PatriotsGirl did not expect it. She is thriving. </p><p></p><p>It is always so rewarding, but a surprise. </p><p></p><p>I hope you get t his prize one day too. Until then, be good to you and figure out "How can I deal with the reality of my son yet not let it take over my life? How can think about it in a way that is different than I've been doing?"</p><p></p><p>Hugs!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663710, member: 1550"] Oh, Cedar. There is a world of creativity and intelligence and wasted potential on this entire forum. It is heartbreaking. Copa, I figured your son had those qualities...at least was very smart and capable of having a wonderful life. But the world is full of late developers and there is still hope. Many of our children who sought drugs out start to straighten out and get their lives together at your son's age and even later. It retards emotional development. It takes time. It can happen. All it takes is a change of direction by the adult child and we can never guess when that will happen. Copa,my daughter was not showing any signs of changing. We had just tossed her out and she called her brother (Goneboy, whom she was once so close to) to beg him to pick her up and let her live with him. He had tenants in his house by then (real leases...the kid always a head for business) and he only had his basement for her, but he drove up from Illinois to get her, however he had a list of rules as long as a roll of toilet paper and she never listened to us so I exected him to get tired of her fast, although I hoped he didn't. I really didn't want her on the street. In his house, for whatever reason, maybe her own desire not to be homeless, she listened to his rules and got clean with her new boyfriend helping her. She did not tell us this was her intention. She didn't use services. She just did it and quit cigarette smoking along with it. She told us afterward and we thought "Sure. Prove it." She did. In the end, Goneboy did throw her out because he is a very religious Christian who did not believe in sex before marriage and he knew they were (daughter and boyfriend) doing the dead and they had an ugly yelling match, which may have been the beginning of the end. Princess's boyfriend never forgot that he yelled, "You're just using each other! You will NEVER last."He was wrong, but I am grateful he stepped up for her one last time and possibly giving her sanctuary and strong rules that she felt she had to follow saved her life. Nobody saw the quit coming. We never know what is going on in their minds. When asked now, she will say, "I just got tired of the crazy drug life. I wanted to be normal." Where there is life, Copa, there is hope. Your son is still alive. There is hope for him. And it may just happen out of the blue. Child of Mine and ToughLovin' did not expect their kids to turn around. They are. PatriotsGirl did not expect it. She is thriving. It is always so rewarding, but a surprise. I hope you get t his prize one day too. Until then, be good to you and figure out "How can I deal with the reality of my son yet not let it take over my life? How can think about it in a way that is different than I've been doing?" Hugs!!!! [/QUOTE]
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