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Family of Origin
Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 663757" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>This is so excellent I want to print it out and frame it and keep it on my refrigerator.I will at least print the poem.</p><p></p><p>I am always telling my kids, especially the girls, that they have to speak up for themselves, take care of their own needs, not always do what others say, and leave toxic people behind them. I am so hoping that my kids don't do what I did. I betrayed myself by letting very unhealthy influences into my life and into my heart. *I* let them in. It was within my power to say, "I can't do this anymore, Sis. BYE. Don't call me, I'll call you." I could have sent a letter to my brother after his "What Bothers Me About You" letter to me just one sentence "I won't be needing your services anymore." Maybe I would have added "I did not read it and never will." Instead I demeaned myself and shot back an angry, tear-stained, disjointed letter to him that I can't even remember. Since it was written in a world of hurt I'm sure it just made brother think, "I was right." Yes, I shot back a letter WITHOUT even reading his. Of course, I knew it had to be mean, but still. My fault for responding to him, especially while so freshly assaulted. ALL MY FAULT I could have told my mother, "I'm not going to let you abuse me for fun anymore. Don't call me, I'll call you." Which is what happened anyway, but stupidly I kept calling. And kept letting Sis come back. And did not once question brother about how he felt he had a right to send me a letter like that when he barely knew me. So it is really, in the end, on me that I did nothing. I allowed them in. This is after my husband pointed out to me that any time I talked to any of them I started to cry. He learned to hate them by proxy. But more than that...he saw the sick dynamics and pointed them out to me. Why didn't I listen to him? He loved me, they did not.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, that is the very best way yet for me to look at the abuse. It is and was my responsibility to protect myself and I didn't. It is my fault and I can't do it again. Thanks again. The healing just keeps on coming.</p><p></p><p>I am so glad I started this and have such smart friends.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 663757, member: 1550"] This is so excellent I want to print it out and frame it and keep it on my refrigerator.I will at least print the poem. I am always telling my kids, especially the girls, that they have to speak up for themselves, take care of their own needs, not always do what others say, and leave toxic people behind them. I am so hoping that my kids don't do what I did. I betrayed myself by letting very unhealthy influences into my life and into my heart. *I* let them in. It was within my power to say, "I can't do this anymore, Sis. BYE. Don't call me, I'll call you." I could have sent a letter to my brother after his "What Bothers Me About You" letter to me just one sentence "I won't be needing your services anymore." Maybe I would have added "I did not read it and never will." Instead I demeaned myself and shot back an angry, tear-stained, disjointed letter to him that I can't even remember. Since it was written in a world of hurt I'm sure it just made brother think, "I was right." Yes, I shot back a letter WITHOUT even reading his. Of course, I knew it had to be mean, but still. My fault for responding to him, especially while so freshly assaulted. ALL MY FAULT I could have told my mother, "I'm not going to let you abuse me for fun anymore. Don't call me, I'll call you." Which is what happened anyway, but stupidly I kept calling. And kept letting Sis come back. And did not once question brother about how he felt he had a right to send me a letter like that when he barely knew me. So it is really, in the end, on me that I did nothing. I allowed them in. This is after my husband pointed out to me that any time I talked to any of them I started to cry. He learned to hate them by proxy. But more than that...he saw the sick dynamics and pointed them out to me. Why didn't I listen to him? He loved me, they did not. Cedar, that is the very best way yet for me to look at the abuse. It is and was my responsibility to protect myself and I didn't. It is my fault and I can't do it again. Thanks again. The healing just keeps on coming. I am so glad I started this and have such smart friends. [/QUOTE]
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Family of Origin (FOO) Support Thread Part 2
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